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Buckfast Commando 

an intoxicated yet fearless individual, usually brandishing a weapon (Buckfast Bottle, which they have just drank)
Buckfast Commando: "Wit you lookin at ya fanny?"
man on the street: "sorry mate, dont want any trouble!"
Buckfast Commando: "Too late yur gittin chibbed!"
Buckfast Commando by Bullcoh February 23, 2009

armchair commando 

Somebody who collects weapons, usually knives, guns, and swords, and talks a lot about warfare, violence and the the like. Has never actually fought in a war, or been in the military, but loves the two subjects. Fantasizes about being a navy SEAL or a federal agent. Usually a giant pussy when the shit actually hits the fan.
Greg: "Aw man, I wanna be a Navy SEAL soooo bad. Because they have the biggest variety of weapons to choose from. I just bought a shotgun with a pistol grip, so I'm already in training."

Kyle: "I'm gonna punch you in the face you armchair commando."

Greg: "Please don't! What did I do! No, stop! I'm sorry!"
A supposed digital service provider employing a business plan from the stone age set up to do nothing other than rape it's customers. Instead of allowing consumers to choose their own content packages, they force 90% extra bullshit fluff added to the 10% of services you actually want for ridiculously outlandish prices.

Running with a completely streamlined skeletoned system of equipment and hardware that's not kept up to date with modern firmware or standards whatsoever, nothing is ever working the way it's intended and if anything goes wrong expect to be ignored until it starts working again, which can take hours if not days at a time.

Line signal strength is a joke and overtaxed during peak hours so if you're neighbor is looking up porn while you wish to game online expect frequent lag and disconnections. Switching stations have no stand by systems or backups in place so if anything on the Comcast service network goes down you have no services, such as Television, Internet and Phone.
1. I just got booted from Xbox Live! Again! Fucking asshat next door must be jerking off!

2. Comcast is down, better call it in to complain... oh wait, Comcast also provides the phone, and since the service is down the phone isn't working.

3. Customer service has had me on hold for hours! They must not have any staff to handle anything because they expect no one to call when the service is down because it disables the customer's phone! Guess they don't realize we still have cellphones! Oh I just got through... nope they don't speak English and promptly hung up on me!

4. I've just pinged the local switching station's IP and I'm getting not half the rate for which I'm paying for their supposed "high-speed" internet... customer service tells me that I'm paying for "up-to" a certain speed. I'm thinking about only paying "up-to" a certain amount of my fucking bill! Fuck Comcast, I'm cancelling this shit!
Comcast by WCrispy July 23, 2009

Commanbeer 

To take possession of beer left in your fridge for over a week. Typically done with beer left over from a party.
Brad: Dude, where'd my beer that I left from that party two weeks ago go?
Blake: After one week of being left in my fridge I commanbeered it and drank it.

Brad: :(
Commanbeer by BadAirDizzle April 5, 2011
A company that spends all its money on advertising and thus has none left over for customer service.

Also see monopoly
Hey, keep that frustrated customer on hold while we finish our latest 'Comcast Triple Play' ad.
Comcast by Degu June 29, 2008

Keyboard Commando 

Someone who acts tough behind a keyboard online, but can't say the same things in real life.
Keyboard Commando: 'That's complete shit! You're wrong! If I saw you in the street, I'd bash you!'

Real Life: 'Oh ... Hello ... Of course you are right and I am wrong. Sorry ... I won't disagree with you.'
Keyboard Commando by Papewaio March 2, 2010