The Hsieh Theorem 

Simply stated, the combination of any nationality with any noun can be used to construct a novel name for a sexual act.

Applications of the Hsieh Theorem resulted in the following names of sexual acts: the Italian oil change, the Greek photocopier, the Brazilian lawnmower ... and so on.

The Hsieh Theorem by Bisby February 15, 2010

Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem 

The sociological rule that one person wearing a fedora in a larger group may be stylistically unique, but two or more people wearing a fedora in a larger group renders every person in that group a douchebag.

Check it out - another fedora. What a douchebag.

No, wait - if it was just that one dude it might be cool, but two of his bros are wearing them too. According to the Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem, all five of them are douchebags.

Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem by CreditToJoe August 19, 2010

Kalejs Theorem 

for one to digress from a topic so far that one no longer is speaking of anything of any relevance to the topic.

The Kalejs Theorem in practice; "Okay class today we are learning about electromagnetic radiation" (Proceeds to talk about volcanoes with the assistance of tools to find relevant videos)

Kalejs Theorem by me is a bomb 6969 May 10, 2021

Common Sense Theorem 

A mathematical and scientific hypothesis that proves any statement true using only the words "Common Sense".

"Given- Equilateral Triangle ABC has an area of 5 a height of 5, and a side length of x.

Prove- Triangle ABC has a perimeter of 3.

Step 1- Perimeter = 3
Reason- Common Sense Theorem"

While the above statement is impossible, the common sense proves it true.

Common Sense Theorem by Nately's Old Man June 2, 2011

Cage Rage Theorem 

The emotional pattern that Nicolas Cage goes through in every movie he's in.

Firstly, Nicolas Cage is in a happy/placid state.

Then, something happens to Nicolas Cage that causes a short stage of confusion. This is key to the next stage.

Finally, Nicolas Cage becomes filled with anger at the confusion he experiences.

Rinse and repeat. In every movie.

KNOWING (2009) A prime example of the 'Cage Rage Theorem'

Nicolas Cage is happy. (Stage one)

Nicolas Cage finds sheet of numbers, becomes confused. (Stage two)

Nicolas Cage throws everything on the floor, in a fit of anger and confusion at the numbers. (Stage 3)

Cage Rage Theorem by CharlesBottomer June 25, 2013

Corollary to the Saniel Theorem 

See The Saniel Theorem

Under the Saniel Theorem, there is a 60 percent chance that Saniel will fuck up the shot, or his presence will throw the match, but there is also a 40 Percent chance of huge success.

The Corollary to the Saniel Theorem means that the shot might actually backfire on us.

Corollary to the Saniel Theorem by ToshBoss January 22, 2020

Felix’s Theorem 

For every nerd or virgin, there is a girl that is a 5 or above that wants to have intercourse with them. This is Felix’s Theorem

“I heard Lisa fucked Jerry last weekend”
“What? That kid who comes to school dressed like his league of legends character?”
“Yup. Felix’s Theorem, I guess.”

Felix’s Theorem by Nepho March 28, 2021