Spooned my own tits 

When one has fallen foul to a simple mistake of their own making, to great consequence.

Oh no, I just gave away my last can of spam and now I have none! I have really Spooned my own tits.

Spooned my own tits by Mon-Yat October 2, 2018

spoonfed and bred 

someone who is in sales that couldn't make a sale on their own if they tried. They require the expertise of a sales professional.

Dude , you're so spoonfed and bred you couldn't sell that car if someone handed you the deal!

spoonfed and bred by the dutchman 3 February 17, 2010

Uncle Spooner 

When you spend the night at your cousin’s house and you wake up in the middle of the night being aggressively spooned by your uncle with a little something stiff knocking on your back door.

I thought I was dreaming till I realized I was awake and getting the old uncle spooner.

Uncle Spooner by Eaton Holgoode January 27, 2018

spooned 

to engage in sexual actions while the other partner is asleep

"he/she got spooned last night"

spooned by a b00b May 29, 2004

spoonerism 

Transposing inappropriate begginnings on two different words.

Jordan made the ultimate spoonerism today when he said, "They were ligging the erections."

spoonerism by Maria Klodowsky May 29, 2007

spooner 

one who "spoons" (lay very close together, the way spoons do in a drawer) another of the same sex

STOP SPOONING ME, YOU SPOONER!

spooner by ohlo August 24, 2005

Raging Spooner 

1) the erection, often unwanted and unintentional, that a man has while spooning with another female

2) the erection that results from spooning furiously

Her: "So I was spooning with Tom in bed last night and I all I could feel was his raging spooner poking me in the back!"

Friend: "Eww...Grosss!"

Raging Spooner by samsayton April 10, 2011