Manager 

The guy wearing clean clothes who has very soft, smooth hands and a slick haircut and tells you to get the hell home before you get any overtime. The company's representative who is responsible for harassing, intimidating, disciplining and strong-arming employees in the name of better business practices. The cocky, overblown prick whose desk at work is stacked higher with grievance papers than his desk at home is piled high with overdue car and mortgage payments. That smarmy cocksucker in the VIP lounge at the club who orders bottles of top shelf vodka for the underage rich girls he picks up nightly at the strip joint. A man whose insecurities and self-doubts provide ample fuel for his currupt machinations in the workplace. The blue nosed white collared red cheeked scum-of-the-earth driveshaft of america's sputtering corporate engine. Collectively, managers are the scum that rises to the top of the pond in which we all must daily swim, and the company's ethics hotline is the vast barge that pushes this slime to shore to be beached and shriveled in the white-hot scorching sun of accountability.

Manager Jimbob had to change his underwear after I whipped out my contract book and asked him if he was harassing me. His panic sweat reeked of booze and almonds.

Manager by Nate United February 28, 2009

managerbation 

The act of spending so much time planning and scheduling that you don't actually accomplish anything.

"The project was canned after eight months of managerbation."

managerbation by Jordan Sugarman June 30, 2006

manager 

Someone too incompetent to do any real work but who now has the authority to fuck up the work of those who aren't

manager by Alien Entity September 22, 2002

retail manager 

This is the person that comes around making sure you are bothered every five minutes and told one more time what you are to do (in case you have a case of chronic amnesia). This is usually to reassure the person that the items and services you are selling and most likely not making commision off of are steadily helping out their bonuses each week / month / year.

Hitler was not a retail manager but many retail managers are little Hitler's.

retail manager by John December 20, 2003

Teflon manager

A manager or senior exec who "handballs" or refuses to take responsibility for anything that goes wrong. Blames others. From the saying "Nothing sticks to Teflon"

When the shit hit the fan with the merger, Rick blamed his team for doing poor work. He behaved like the Teflon manager he was

Teflon manager by lalalal April 23, 2005

Ostrich manager 

A manager who would prefer to put their head in the sand rather than deal with problems.

This kind of manager effectively encourages workplace bullying and harassment and allows the nastier co-workers to run the show.

John: "How come Joe is able to get away with so much? Is he sleeping with the boss or something?"

Bill: "Nah, we just have an ostrich manager. He won't do a thing."

Ostrich manager by blissyu2 December 22, 2010

Project Manager 

A job role. The role is to ensure project is delivered on time, By on time, this means in half the time that is needed to complete all tasks and with half the necessary staff. This role is highly sought after by people that love using meaningless buzz words to hide the fact that don't understand any words said to them in meetings. They will often been seen looking dazed and confused at their computers after spending 9 hours sending meeting requests, rescheduling meetings, going to meetings, holding "catch ups" after meetings in which you need to explain to them what happened in the last meeting and stalking you when your not in meetings with them. They think all other staff are magicians and can't understand why the status update has not changed from yesterday because they forgot you were in meetings with them all day. They live in an imaginary world where they think they understand concepts are likeable by many and think everyone has shit phones because no one answers their calls. Generally they are the root cause of all mental health issues 8n the modern workplace and will go their entire working career oblivious to the fact everyone thinks they are giant cuntasauruses.

"who moved that date forward 4 weeks?"..."the project manager said you could still get it done"..."FFS, I need a mental health day"

Project Manager by Ninjaella September 12, 2018