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Buckley's chance 

A very small chance of success, often expressed as "You've got two chances, mate. Buckley's and none." Alternatively contracted to "You've got Buckley's."

Derived from the life of William Buckley, an English soldier convicted of theft circa 1803 and sentenced to transportation to Port Phillip, (present-day Melbourne, in Australia). Buckley escaped and set off for Sydney. He was adopted by the Walthaurung Aborigines and arrived in Sydney in 1835, 32 years later.
Hey Wozza ya reckon Kyles would go for me?

No fuckin' way, Bluey, she wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.
But I got the horn for her!
Put ya old feller away, dingbat. You've got Buckley's chance.
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Reno's Charge

A fearful, cowardly retreat from a fight, and later claiming to be re-grouping for a counter charge in order to save face.
He says his "partial withdraw" from the Ukraine boarder is a strategic manuever, but it sounds like a 'Reno's Charge' to me!
Reno's Charge by talk2me-JCH2 September 23, 2022

Buckley's chance 

You've got Buckley's chance mate!
Buckley's chance by markuz January 5, 2006

snowball's chance in hell

Impossible, no chance, unlikely. Slim to none probability.

Change of screenery 

When one moves from their computer to their television (or vice versa) usually due to boredom.
When Jess resorted to playing Freecell on his computer he knew it was time for a change of screenery and made his way to the couch for a Battlestar Gallactica rerun on The Space Network.

Chinaman's chance 

The evil elf Kucinich hasn't got a Chinaman's chance of winning the nomination.
Chinaman's chance by octopod March 4, 2004

have a cat in hell's chance 

To have absolutely no chance of achieving something.
Doesn’t sound like labour party have a cat in hell's chance to me.