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Ass bandit 

Any person of any gender who STEALS toilet paper from ANY marketing location
"That Ass Bandit stole the last package of Charmin!"

"Officer the Ass Bandit broke in through the kitchen window and went straight for our toilet paper supply, so I took the metal bat to him. I feared for our safety, and Toilet paper!"
Ass bandit by VPFearson March 13, 2020

ass-bandit 

An unscrupulous curmudgeon who blasphemes by the very nature of his or her existence. Simply put, an unambiguous wanker, a incorrigible troglodyte, a downtrodden asshat.
Eric if you say POOT one more time I will puke. How ass-bandit-ish.

Peter is such an ass-bandit about seeing live shows.

Noah's ass-banditry is unprecedented. Stop touching yourself.

Denver has always been an ass-bandit and will always be an ass-bandit.
ass-bandit by Danger Brown October 11, 2006

ass-bandit 

Another derogitory term for a homosexual Male, usually used jokingly, or as an insult to someone who is in fact heterosexual
"Freddie over there is such an Ass-Bandit"
ass-bandit by El Toronja May 15, 2006

Ass-Bandit 

A derogatory comment used to describe a homosexual who is sexually attracted to male ass.
God, Calvin Klein is such an Ass-Bandit.
Ass-Bandit by Garren17 May 12, 2009

turd burgaling ass bandit 

someone who loves to munch forcefully on the asses of unsuspecting victims
kyle snuck up from behind and ravaged my bum hole, what a turd burgaling ass bandit

Cock sucking ass bandit

a guy who likes to suck guys nobs and takes it up the ass, also can mean to finger himself whilst sucking on a dildo.