stretcher drunk 

Consuming such a rediculous amount of alcohol that you lose all motor functions , thus the only means of transportation is a stretcher.

Hey Matt you get tore up there other night? Matt- boy I got stretcher drunk they had to haul my ass outta there!

stretcher drunk by Blazer1752 December 11, 2016

2x4 stretcher 

A fictional piece of construction equipment that bosses make their greenhorns search for until they wise up and realize he/she is full of shit.

Johnny, will you go to the truck and grab the 2x4 stretcher?

2x4 stretcher by SPAD54 November 18, 2019

bacon stretcher 

An object that can be lobbed in to the category that the "Left Handed Smoke Shifter" resides in. The joke is commonly used on members of a younger group who have not heard of it before- "Hey, can you go get the bacon stretcher?". The the other members would then watch as the person would actually try to find it.

"Hey Little Jhonny, can you go bring me the bacon stretcher?"

bacon stretcher by xkruthlieuarhgoiqent4c September 18, 2017

cooter stretcher 

A child that has been delivered vaginally or a male penis.

"Your baby is so cute. He's a cooter stretcher."

"His penis is so big it's a cooter stretcher."

cooter stretcher by Gracey Mayberry February 17, 2014

stretcher 

A particularly girthy poo that feels like it stretches you on its way out - it leaves you clenching your buttocks for half an hour afterwards trying to get your ringpiece back into shape!

Remind me never to eat Branflakes again, that dump this morning was so full of stretchers i felt like i'd been fingered by an elephant!

stretcher by mrbruceman March 15, 2009

Penis stretcher 

The act of stretching/pulling the penis to its full extent while going piss in a urinal in an attempt to make your flacid penis look large.

Jake-man the guy next to me was checking out my dick so I had to intimadate him with the ol' penis stretcher.

Penis stretcher by The Squeeler April 18, 2009

margaux stretcher 

When you get so drunk that you pass out in multiple places and wake up because either a cop is trying to wake you up or sprinklers squirt on your face. You then proceed to rat out some of your "friends."

Dude you totally pulled a margaux stretcher, we couldnt find you for hours until someone found you passed out on the street!

margaux stretcher by ghettotitties September 10, 2010