wank into oblivion

To masturbate yourself into unconsciousness - usually as a result of rejection, failure, sheer boredom or all of the above
Jack failed to pull at the club so he decided to go home and wank into oblivion...
by mrbruceman January 20, 2012
Get the wank into oblivion mug.

spiss

A post ejaculatory urination which still contains sperm, giving it a cloudy appearence. The etymology being a contraction of sperm/spunk + piss = spiss
'That was wonderful darling, do you mind if i postpone the post coital hugs you so require in favour of a quick spiss?'
by mrbruceman February 21, 2009
Get the spiss mug.

that shit's medical

When referring to the level of a person's stupidity - the case being that the person is so stupid it's not even their fault, they clearly are a cretin, or an imbecile...
My neighbour is such an imbecile that he shovelled the snow off his car, driveway and path and piled it high on the sidewalk so that no-one could walk down the road. I mean, that shit's medical...
by mrbruceman February 06, 2012
Get the that shit's medical mug.

Airplane Sticker

Term for a woman's sanitary towel, so named because of its wings and ability to stick to various surfaces should the need arise.
Little Timmy found his mum's airplane stickers in the grocery shopping
by mrbruceman January 11, 2009
Get the Airplane Sticker mug.

Shirt-bomb

The booze based vomit that decorates a drunk city worker's attire when they are found passed out on the last train home.
'I had to sit opposite a passed-out yuppie the other day on the last train home. He dropped a Shirt-bomb and didn't even wake up!
by mrbruceman January 11, 2009
Get the Shirt-bomb mug.

stood one up

To deliver a turd so large that you have to stand up off the pan in order to achieve maximum length.

To leave a turd standing up like a telegraph pole when you drop it.
‘Mate you were a long time in the toilet’
‘Yeah I’ve just stood one up, you should see it, it was magnificent
by mrbruceman December 13, 2022
Get the stood one up mug.

cotton bullets

Euphemism for tampons, primarily derived from the shape and material they are made from.
Don't mess with the missus this week, i accidentally spotted some cotton bullets in her handbag
by mrbruceman January 11, 2009
Get the cotton bullets mug.