Skip to main content

paper bag theorem

A biological theorem postulated by the famed naturalist Dr. I.B. Crunkdenstein which states that penile erection may be maintained during the act of intercourse with an ugly ass bitch if a paper bag is shoved on her head. Preferably, an orafice should be carved into the masticular region so that one may still scog down his partner's throat.
Yeah, so I drunk-fucked that Natalie chick last night--thank God for the paper bag theorem.
paper bag theorem by assbagginsQB December 4, 2005

paper bag princess 

A female with an immaculate body, but a less than satisfactory face.

Named after popular Robert Munch character of the same name.
"this girl had a nice body, but a filthy face, so I put a paper bag on her head, and had my way with her. One might just call her a paper bag princess"

paper bag snorkel game 

you give a woman a paper bag, put it on their head, leave a hole in it, and insert a snorkel so that they may breath.
Me: Want to play the paper bag snorkel game?

You: What is the paper bag snorkel game?

Me: Here is a paper bag... wear it... there is a hole i will now insert a snorkel for you to breath.

You: *choking/gagging noises*

paper bag brother 

man with a great body but fugly face, making a paper bag over the head necessary for sex. Male equivalent of butterface.
Her boyfriend is nice enough, but he's a paper bag brother all the way.

paper bag princess 

A girl or young woman who realizes, like the character in Robert Munsch's book of the same name, that she needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
"Lauren's life as a paper bag princess meant that she'd always be using her super powers to help people who really needed her instead of to reproduce empty societal expectations."

Paper Bag Syndrome 

A disease worse than aids. When a girl has a mad sexy body but a god-awful face that makes you want to vomit your organs. See also butterface

Name is derived from the fact that one needs a paper bag to put over the chick's face
So I was going to fuck Daniella last night, but then it turned out she had paper bag syndrome.