ferociously masterbating 

beating your meat so hard that it would appear that you were about to rip it off

Dan masterbated so ferociously that he started bleeding

ferociously masterbating by Laurier November 24, 2004

verbally masterbating 

When one talks about himself to a second party as being better than the rest of the population. While it is said to someone else, it is really just intended for the person to hear out loud how "awesome" they are. May be done out of deep-seated insecurity.

Matt: "I am going to be the most awesome lawyer. I am just a really compelling speaker blah blah blah"
Other people later: "Goddamn Matt was verbally masterbating so much there might be chafing."

verbally masterbating by yeah April 13, 2003

Extreme masterbating 

When you have jerked it so long that it wil pop a boner for the rest of your life.

My dad did a ''Extreme masterbating'' yesterday

Extreme masterbating by WKalas December 29, 2016

Naturistic Masterbating 

Where a person who has ran out of ideas to save trees or a nature preserve and has to go to extmere mesasures. Naturistic Masterbation is where a strong point is being made and to stop the man and to give in to his demands. Even if it means getting into nature.

Oh my god! Will that guy stop Naturistic Masterbating. Just let the man be with his trees!

Naturistic Masterbating by Mark Jackson. January 17, 2009

Crying while masterbating

The depressive state where your hunger for vagina overshadows your temporary sadness. This state often results in the victim masterbating over violent porn, using his own tears as lubricant as desperate howls of anguish escape his lips.

B.A. was crying while masterbating after someone paid out his altezza tail lights the other night.

Crying while masterbating by Anal ejaculator January 12, 2012

Maskerbating 

Wearing a mask while completely alone

Before I even realized it, I was maskerbating in my car yesterday!

Maskerbating by Photoist July 28, 2020

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018