Shaving the Beard 

When a heterosexual woman divorces her gay husband.

After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.

Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?

Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!

Shaving the Beard by Steve Fraser September 21, 2011

fuck me in the beard 

used as an explative to show extreme distress or excitement

i just hit charles while he was riding his bike, fuck me in the beard!

i just won the lotto fuck me in the beard!

fuck me in the beard by the phalanx specialist November 27, 2007

Put the beard on

The act of cunnilingus, or more colloquially to "go down on a woman" !

Person 1 : "What are you doing after work ?"
Person 2 : "I'm gonna go home, have a feed and a shower. Might grab the Mrs and "put the beard on" too !"

Put the beard on by Cpt. Kickass June 23, 2009

Shave the beard 

When a gay guy dumps his fake girlfriend he uses to hide that he's gay.

Danielle got dumped? I guess jack decided to shave the beard, we all knew

Shave the beard by Teshandra April 22, 2013

by the beard of zeus 

Ridiculous phrase primarily used as a mythological reference, but often associated with retarded phrases or ideas.

"By the beard of Zeus, that's good sausage and egg!"- Don McNeil

by the beard of zeus by Canavan October 12, 2004

wear the beard 

To perform oral sex on a woman; eat hairy pie

wear the beard by cracky March 1, 2003

growing the beard 

When a TV show get's better over time, as opposed to "Jumping the Shark," when a show gets worse over time.

Refers to Jonathan Frakes character, William Riker, growing a beard after season one, when the show improved dramatically

-"While "Heroes" Jumped The Shark after season one, "Lost's second season improved, growing the beard more after each season.

growing the beard by Ufotofu9 June 3, 2014