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Ratner's touch 

The opposite of the Midas touch. A person for whom everything turns to crap, if (s)he gets involved.

Named after jewellery magnate Gerald Ratner, who infamously declared his proudcts to be "total crap" and wouldn't last much "longer than a M&S {Marks & Spencer} prawn sandwich", during a speech to the Insitute of Directors (1991).

Although his comments were meant to be tongue-in-cheek, shares in his company drastically plummeted and he almost bankrupted the company. The speech is often heralded as an example of the value of branding and image over quality.
It's a nightmare working with with Cheryl, she always bodges things up-- she's got the Ratner's touch.
Ratner's touch by Roger Mellie 84 October 31, 2009
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I'd rather shave my eyeballs 

A useful analogy for describing a complete refusal to partake in an activity.
Tate: Hey, hon, that guy that refuses to speak to you, you need to take your relationship to the next level. Right now it's in the awkward stages, but with a little work I know you could make things work. You need to hang around his work place and home and once he sees how commited you are to him, he'll change his mind.
Tammy: Right, Tate, hun. I'd rather shave my eyeballs.

i can act rather silly at times 

a silly funny cat with a silly funny face
i can act rather silly at times

Who would you rather sit next to on a bus? 

A game that consists of posing the question: "Who would you rather sit next to on a bus?" Then two options are provided, fictional characters, prominent figures, or acquaintances. The person(s) who the question then selects from the choices and then poses a new scenario. Different scenarios are possible but is usually that the bus ride is of medium duration of length, too long to go without acknowledging the other parties presence, but too short to create a meaningful bonding experience.
Who would you rather sit next to on a bus? . . .
Rep. Joe Wilson or the cast of the Jersey Shore?
Charlie Sheen or Emilio Estevez?
Oliver Cromwell or Andrew Jackson?

rather slot 

meaning rather alot said by someone with a speach inpedament.
hey! my friendth i love youth rather slot!
rather slot by jump-leed January 16, 2008

Id rather sandpaper a wildcats ass 

Down south way of sayingfuck that
Id rather sandpaper a wildcats ass than to take another sip of that shroom tea!

I Rather Smack Your Back Than Choke You: The Firs Juvenile Release. 

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: I Rather Smack Your Back Than Choke You: The Firs Juvenile Release.