transtemporal masturbation

The phenomenon in which one begins masturbating at 11:59pm on New Years Eve, and ejaculates minutes later in the next year. Resultantly, the person's single masturbation session occured in two seperate years.

I started jerking off in 2016, and finished in 2017. I just engaged in transtemporal masturbation.

transtemporal masturbation by iHeartBaconator December 31, 2016

Mortal Masturbation March 

The female equivalent to Destroy Dick December.
Starting 12AM March, bust a squirt everyday until 12AM April 1. On March 1, squirt once, on the second, squirt twice, and on the third, squirt three times... etc.
No Finger February is a training for Mortal Masturbation March.

Are you ready for Mortal Masturbation March?
Hell ya

Mortal Masturbation March by creatorMortalMasturbationMarch November 13, 2018

masturbationalist 

a Masturbationalist, is simply a person who finds that masturbation is the answer to all problems in the world.

bob: Hey, jim, why dont you join us masturbationalists?

jim: yeah? and how would that solve all the existing problems these days?

bob: thats a good question... you'll just have to masturbate to find out, eh?

Jim: hm... sounds good.. i think i will join the masturbationalists, then

bob: good move..im sure you'll like it

masturbationalist by Krimson~ November 3, 2006

Masterbathon 

a masterbathon is a day that you stay home from school "sick" so you can beat off so many times that you are dry and chaffed and can't walk so the next day you have to stay home and do it all over again

Mike: "Damn jimmy has been out of school all week"
Steve: "I konw he must be having a masterbathon"

Masterbathon by LifeguardSteve April 27, 2004

thought masturbation 

When someone has dumbass thoughts in his head that motivates him while doing nothing about it, usually all those people do is imagine and get pleasure from thinking some bullshit. They like to share those thoughts with their friends and listen to some music/look at images while thinking about it.

Michael's head:

*listens to balkan rap* => I need to move to Serbia !!
*looks for BMW photos on google and listens to german rap* => I need a BMW to prove em all wrong !!
*watches ultimate last minute goals on youtube* => I will become a football coach soon !!
*looks for some 90 days 90kg lost videos on youtube and listens to motivating songs* => tomorrow i start gym !!

Michael: bro, i finally found what I needed in my life..
Djafar. his best friend: Man stfu. i'm tired of your thought masturbation..

thought masturbation by upsetrobbery June 23, 2020

Chronic Masturbation 

A saying in The Walking Dead telltale game

You guys know i im here?
Chronic Masturbation!

Chronic Masturbation by Bitter Bleach May 28, 2019

journalistic masturbation 

When a journalist writes an article showing off his or her writing skills, vocabulary and worldly knowledge rather than sticking to the job of reporting. This is usually the case in an interview where the opinions and insight of the subject are overshadowed by the journalist's uncontrollable need to show off. It is when the standard of unbiased journalism becomes commentary when it is not supposed to be. In other words, it's all about the writer's ego.

The best example ever of "journalistic masturbation" can be found in the cover story of the LA Weekly Nov. 30 - Dec. 6 issue/ Vol. 30/ No. 2 "Dennis Kucinich Has Five Minutes For You" by Dwayne Booth.

journalistic masturbation by Mr. Clizzy fresh December 31, 2007