John Stamos 

Your girl most likely told you something like what your mother told you as a kid, if you don't look like John Stamos, you're not going to amount to anything.

Elvis didn't become Elvis because of his outstanding songwriting abilities. He looked like John Stamos, and one thing John Stamos never heard from his mother was that he wasn't going to amount to anything or that he was a fucking loser.

John Stamos by The Original Agahnim August 17, 2021

John Stamos 

A guy who's mother told him that Santa Claus brought him into this world for everyone.

That guy John Stamos still not only believes in Santa Claus, but he thinks that it's true that Santa Claus brought him as something for everybody, the most popular thing under the tree.

John Stamos by The Original Agahnim September 24, 2021

The John Stamos Proximity Effect 

The relative coolness of a person or object is defined by a value inversely proportional to the square of the distance of said object or person from John Stamos.

Bob Saget is only cool because of the John Stamos Proximity Effect after he was on Full House

The John Stamos Proximity Effect by Armacham85 October 30, 2010

John Steamos 

The act of dropping your trousers mid morning and deficating into a ziploc bag only to put in your roomates microwave for precisely one minute and thirty seconds until the sweet aroma of your mud monkey fills the surrounding room.

"Judd, quick get over here. I just left a John Steamos in Brad's microwave. I can't wait for him to get off the john and realize that smell isn't his!"

John Steamos by joey fingaz May 1, 2012

John Stamosos 

Inventor of Apple. Propa goat, propa memer, can crank on kids, wants to join your culture because he's a goat. He touched his own leg at 5 years old.

John Stamosos

John Stamosos by vipzhere September 24, 2019