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Soccer Mom Assault Vehicle (S.M.A.V.) 

anything associated with the "mini van" body and the bullshit ridiculously easy to drive vehicle, its so easy to drive because of the car chassis it sits on, the full power brakes, its surrounded by glass, its so easy to steer. Anything associated but not limited to Ford Windstar, Chrysler Town and Country, Plymoth Voyager, Chevrolet Uplander or Venture, Dodge Caravan, Mazda MPV, Toyota Sienna, Nissan Quest, and last and most definatly deserves to be least Kia Sedona because of its complimentary paper plate brake rotors, toilet paper roll drivetrain, twizzlers for spark plug wires, cheap supermarket send a kid to camp for $1 plastic bags for air bags, and coca cola can hull.
Yo look at that Soccer Mom Assault Vehicle (S.M.A.V.) im sure glad i dont drive one of those
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Soccer Mom Photographer 

The slippery slope of becoming a wannabe "Pro Photographer" that starts with the rule of 1 in 1,000.

With the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words "that shot is great...you have a real knack for photography" and so the journey begins.

Without any inkling of ISO, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition...any thought at all (AUTO EVERYTHING) mom thinks she has actual talent.

Through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to "sell it as art" since she's now a pro shooter.

1.) Images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.

2.) Won't give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn't claim her income, it's tax free money under the table.

3.) Uses pirated photoshop.

4.) All the comments on their "mommy photo blog" are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like "OMG, SO CUTE!!!!" or "Lisa, you are SO talented, OMG!!!" It's pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points OMG! All comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
How was your session? I forgot all of my equipment at the studio so I just soccer mom'd it.

Wow, uuum, those images are really something? Yeah, I went to a soccer mom photographer. We didn't have the money for a professional photographer.

Those pictures look like my mom took them! That's because we used a soccer mom photographer.

Soccer Mom Van 

The stereotypical vehicle of a soccer mom, the soccer mom van can usually be identified as a 90's Chrystler van with about ten bumper stickers for various soccer leagues.
The criminals evaded the very sight of the soccer mom van, as they were intimidated by the sheer power emitted from it.
Soccer Mom Van by KeshcaShckay March 27, 2015

Soccer Mom'd

A more severe version of owned. Being Soccer Mom'd is akin to being reduced to tears by your mother in front of your friends.
Person A: Your mama's so fat she plays pool with the planets.
Person B: Your juvenile insults betray the fact that your mother whored you out as a child, at 50 cents a turn. Your cut was 1 cent which you saved up for 25 weeks to play one game at the arcade, which you promptly lost due to Mrs. Butterworth's residue in your ass from that morning's "work".
Onlooker: SOCCER MOM'D!

soccer mom speedball 

large starbucks coffee and a Klonopin
It's a new epidemic: in the teachers lounge, all women book clubs, ballet studios, dojos - it's being called a "soccer mom speedball", which is a large starbucks coffee and a klonopin tablet, a medication used for anxiety. is your mom taking part?
soccer mom speedball by bleeeweee September 14, 2010

soccer mom arm

The arm, specifically the right arm, a mother (or other driver) uses to protect the person in the passenger seat when they slam on the brakes. This arm is quickly forced in front of the passenger to ensure they do not move the, roughly, three inches they would normally go forward during an abrupt stop.
Thank god she used the soccer mom arm or I would have flown into the windshield!
soccer mom arm by vades June 10, 2007

Soccer Mom Hips 

Soccer Mom Hips-
Hips that are very wide but still look amazing, mostly referred to thick white girls.
Guy #1 "Damn! That white bitch has some soccer mom hips!"
Guy #2 "Oh damn, you're right man. Look at that ass too!"
Soccer Mom Hips by DarkRose1120 November 8, 2016