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the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, pink-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger 

He was doing the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, pink-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger in his girlfriends car
the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, pink-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger mug front
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5 knuckle shuffle on the piss pump 

Damn....Mark hasn't gotten any strange for like 5 years. The only release he gets is doing the 5 knuckle shuffle on the piss pump. Poor f*cking bastard!

the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger.

masturbation; playing five on one, priming the piss pump; playing tug of war with ol' cyclops.
Following his vasectomy, he needed to produce 25 ejaculations over a 6-month period to assure testicular emasculation. In order to do this 25 times, he had to perform the five-finger knuckle shuffle on his one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger.

the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger.

the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger was a lot of fun for Peter after his girl friend wouldn't let him play with her.

Put the iPod on shuffle 

1. John: Hey, Mary, I think I'm gonna go lay in bed and put the iPod on shuffle.

Mary: Oh, okay, John, that sounds fun!

2. "Dude, did you see that chick at the mall in the short skirt last night? I totally went home and put the iPod on shuffle to that."

play shuffleboard on the promenade 

1. to have no plans; idle
2. an illusory plan
3. a daily plan for the unemployed
"What are your plans for today?" the father asked his unemployed daughter.
"I thought I would play shuffleboard on the promenade, followed by skeet shooting on the lido deck," she answered sarcastically as she sat in her bathrobe surfing the net.

it's like shuffling deck chairs on the titanic 

Actually means: actions taken solely for the feeling (or the appearance) of doing something about an unavoidable situation; actions that not only accomplish nothing but *blatantly* accomplish nothing.
"Oh, look, now GM is trying to fire Wagoner. It's like shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic."