Alcoholic 

someone who knows there is no way to actually break someone other than convincing them to take a punishment for themselves such as picking cotton and the longer they do it, the more sketchy they look

Person 1: Imma do it in front of god, watch me not break afterwards lol.

Person 2: Lol you alcoholic.

Person 1: Lol r they against marijuana too?

Alcoholic by Bitchwhipped the cartel December 9, 2021

Alcoholic 

Someone who wakes up with a hangover only to start drinking again, regardless of what they have to do that day.

"Man, my head hurts. I must have had a blast last night. Ah, crap! I have to be at work in 30 min. I'll just grab 2 long-necks and be on my way!" This is a true Alcoholic.

Alcoholic by Hebb December 21, 2009

Weekend alcoholic 

Someone that greets the weekend by constantly drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Often times starting on Wednesday or Thursday, a weekend alcoholic will wake up each morning with the intent to get drunk before breakfast and stay drunk until passing out (commonly due to blacking out).

Regular drinker: "How was your weekend?"
Weekend alcoholic: "I dunno man, I was too much of a weekend alcoholic to remember anything after Wednesday."

Weekend alcoholic by MHinkle March 8, 2011

Functioning alcoholic 

When one can be drunk every night and still be completely function able the next day

Nate went out every night this week and got totally shit faced. He still got to work the next morning at 8... He's a functioning alcoholic

Functioning alcoholic by Tater tot 5190 June 30, 2014

alcoholic 

Someone who drinks in the shower.

That motherfucker was drinking a keystone in the shower. That motherfucker is an alcoholic.

alcoholic by Motherfucker Dick October 19, 2008

Functional alcoholic 

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.

Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.

Functional alcoholic by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016

alcoholidays 

St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, Mardi Gras. Those days that seem to, at least for college students, exist solely for the purpose of getting shit-faced drunk, with rituals often beginning as early as morning and continuing throughout the day.

Bob: Dude! I'm so drunk right now. We started drinking every time we see spongebob squarepants, and they are running a Halloween Marathon.
Ted: Happy Alcoholidays!

alcoholidays by Matthew Lake November 20, 2007