check yourself before you shrek yourself 

Stepping back and looking at your actions before daring to enter Shreks swamp.

Idiot: Man this forest looks nice i think its where shrek lives! Lets investigate.
Me:Bro you better check yourself before you shrek yourself

check yourself before you shrek yourself by emojibitch August 5, 2014

loyalty before royalty 

dont put the fuckin popularity n riches n shit over the real ones that been there 4 u

remember g, loyalty before royalty.

loyalty before royalty by doctorly October 3, 2018

counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees 

Assuming you will have something before you actually have it; similar to "counting your chickens before they hatch" (which is commonly attributed to Aesop).

"The Mariners could do better than expected this year."

"Let's not kid ourselves. Check your premises before you make a prediction."

"I'm assuming a number of things go right. Maybe I'm just counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees."

counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees by Rusanova March 7, 2012

Quests before Breasts 

The preference of videogames, boardgames, or any sort of virginity-prolonging entertainment over females.
Used in a similar (although far sadder) fashion to "bros before hoes."

Guy 1 : Hey, do you wanna come to the wicked party a couple blocks away this evening? There are gonna be a lot of cute girls over there.

Guy 2: Nah, I wanna get my dwarven paladin Alvannor to level 80 tonight. Quests before breasts!

Guy 1: Uhh.....alright.

Quests before Breasts by garuda1 June 29, 2014

spoon before poon

the act of cuddling another before completing the performance of a lifetime

Greg: dude, did you shag her last night?
George: naa we did the good old spoon before poon
Greg: classic

spoon before poon by Mr BigG April 30, 2015

Beforehead 

When a person has a large forehead and you notice it before anything else.

"Look at the beforehead on that chick over there."

"Adam can't ever get a second date because of his beforehead."

Beforehead by Jerry Gray May 13, 2014

bros before hoes 

men always back other men.

bros before hoes:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.

bros before hoes by kleptooo November 4, 2011