Douche Bagorean Theorem

two douchebags who want to get with the same girl at the same time. 1 douche bag+ 1 douche bag= no way in hell that they will get with her.

Douche 1: Do you see that chick right there?
Douche 2: Yeah man, im gonna make my move.
Douche 1: Fuck you, she's mine!
Girl: Are you two trying to figure out the Douche Bagorean Theorem again?

Douche Bagorean Theorem by D3ATHB1A2MER May 19, 2010

Turdtle Theorem 

The theory that when pooping, you are killing turtles. The butt is the shell, and the turd is the turtle.

The Turdtle Theorem says that I'm killing turtles! I'm going to stop pooping!

Turdtle Theorem by Professor Killaa' February 24, 2015

Johnsonius theorem 

The theory that supports the idea that air has no mass although it has matter, this is shown because buildings don't collapse because of the air above and surrounding it, if air truly did have mass then why aren't we floating because the air should take up the space beneath us and compress to such high levels that it repels us but instead it doesn't so therefore air can only be considered a force due to it's invisible nature similar to that of gravity

"I highly support the Johnsonius theorem because I'm smart"

Johnsonius theorem by BLUELOCK CULTIST May 29, 2023

Pyfagerian Theorem 

| 2 2 2
a + b = c

(n.) A Theorem which states:

The gayness of one man equals the sum of the man on top of him added to his own; Squared.

Pyfagerian Theorem by Marcus Aurelius November 18, 2004

Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem 

(advert-manipulation); commonly found in modern advertising alluding to male worship of beer even superseding a "piece of pie" (vaginal orifice) OR, replacing the deity!

the concept of the ultimate form of worship being a beer and the "big game", as opposed to jettisoning of male DNA in the vaginal canal, i.e. -SUPREME POTENTATE!!

COME ON FOLKS!, BEER NOT THAT! GOOD!!

(NEVER MIND!! LETS' ALL GET 'SLOPPY' AND 'STUPID'!!)
how 'BOUT 'dose YANKEE fans??

big bull went to HELL!! for DARING to 'stink' on alcohol, via his Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

the 'girls' felt powerless, when confronting the Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

Beer-as-'Jesus' theorem unaccepted! in MY 'house of worship'!

Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem by michael foolsley September 5, 2011

Smoosh theorem 

When all girls are lesbian. All lesbians love vagina. Therefore all girls love vagina.

Alyssa Iglesias (has a bf) according to the smoosh theorem, loves vagina.

Smoosh theorem by Kevin, will, chadd September 22, 2010

Poptart Theorem 

The poptart theorem states that by changing one character in a word (of the English language), it can dramatically alter the word, or even cause the opposite.

"Oh, so that Valeria girl...pretty extrordinary, right?"
"You mean extra ordinary! Burn!"
"Dude, nice poptart theorem!"

Poptart Theorem by somegirlwhodiscoveredthept March 27, 2013