Students of St Olaves school in Orpington start out as tiny 4 foot geeks whose bags are bigger than they are, and often require the assistance of passers by to help them on their feet again if the
bag becomes too
heavy for upright use.
In Year 8 comes the gelling phase, where all boys must use
hair product on every unsuspecting hair on their bodies which includes eyebrows, eyelashes and the 3 arm pit hairs they have acquired.
In Year 9 they become the oldest at the school discos, and finally come out of their shells by kissing
girls, and even - dare i say it - hold hands in public.
By Year 10, they finally settle for their
true status in the Olaves hierarchy by becoming the bullies, the nerds or the ones who try too
hard.
Year 11 is a joyous time for Olavians as 0.3% lose their virginity, and the remaining 99.7% remain hopeful that the mixed sixth form
will bring with it more opportunities.