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Candarian stalagmite 

A turd dilivered from a human anoose inside of a cave that stands proud and erect rising from the cave floor pointing towards the ceiling. The Candarian stalagmite has a remarkable resemblance to a regular stelagmite.
It is good fun to drop a Candarian stalagmite and have it discovered and examined by unsuspecting spelunkers.

Stalagmite

A dried, almost rock-like piece of feces.
John was astonished to find a stalagmite in his attic.
Stalagmite by Lucky Is Sucky April 22, 2011

stalagmite

The act of ruining a joke, or being not funny. (To replace the awkward silence after someone kills a joke).
After Pat tried to add on to a joke with a dumb comment, instead leaving an awkward silence we said to him "Stalagmite". (Which indicates all are in consensus that he is done talking and should stop before he looks even more dumb)

sweatpant stalagmite 

A brownish stain formed on the front of a pair of mens' sweatpants, caused by accumulated drips of urine through geologic history.
Jeremy is such a slob... did you see him sporting that sweatpant stalagmite yesterday?
sweatpant stalagmite by Tom&Nic April 18, 2008

vaginal stalagmites/stalactites 

when a women has pubic hair INSIDE her vagina
hey michael did christina have vaginal stalagmites/stalactites

stalagmite pussy 

An excessively, bumpy or rigid vagina.
I tried to go down on her, but that bitch had a stalagmite pussy.
stalagmite pussy by Glenevere April 20, 2009