fextive
fextive by Siberiagirl November 28, 2010
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Festive Faeces
The art and science of defecating on another's doorstep on Christmas Day. Several sources credit the first use of the word to the urban legend Leeds Dr Rudeboy.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
1st person: Well, that fine selection of of Cliff Richard records certainly has put me in the mood for the Queen's Speech tomorrow! Shall we retire early and let St Nicholas pay his visit?
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
Festive Faeces by Leeds Dr Rudeboy December 3, 2010
Related Words
festively plump
1. Used to describe someone who is (slightly) chubby, and as become so over the christmas/summer holiday period.
2. Or, someone who morbidly obese and you don't want to hurt their feelings, yet you stil want to bring them to the attention of their weight gain.
2. Or, someone who morbidly obese and you don't want to hurt their feelings, yet you stil want to bring them to the attention of their weight gain.
1. 'oh mighty me darling, you seemed to have gained ten pounds over the christmas period! Time for the old detox!'
2. 'S**t! Look at that big moma, shes ever bigger than yours!'
'Mate, shut it, be nice to her, shes my aunt'
'alright sorry, shes festively plump'
'thats better'
2. 'S**t! Look at that big moma, shes ever bigger than yours!'
'Mate, shut it, be nice to her, shes my aunt'
'alright sorry, shes festively plump'
'thats better'
festively plump by Valentina Osborn July 13, 2006
festive collar
When a shirt or sweater's collar is worn vertical similiar to a turtleneck, but not necessarily popped out, it is a festive collar.
Nick: I have a festive collar for the occasion.
Brian: You mean it's popped, don't you?
Nick: No... festive.
Brian: You mean it's popped, don't you?
Nick: No... festive.
festive collar by knack4life November 24, 2009
pre-festive
pre-festive by Paul Sise October 18, 2004
Word of the Day on October 4, 2010
Festive Day
23rd December, the eve of Christmas Eve; JUST as exciting as Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day for that matter, Christmas Eve Eve truly deserves its own title!
Just one rule; you MUST wear something- anything- red or green (in keeping with the festiveness).
Just one rule; you MUST wear something- anything- red or green (in keeping with the festiveness).
Festive Day by Shmagoo May 14, 2011
I'm festively plump
I'm festively plump by thegirlthatkrumps December 23, 2010