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microwave 

makes random noises at 3AM.
mike hawk: *turns on microwave*
microwave: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

microwave 

A microwave is a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
my microwave is used more for a damn clock than cooking stuff!
microwave by televox May 16, 2007

Microwave 

A word that Dan Howell THINKS is an onomatopoeia, but it isn't.
PHIL: What's your favourite onomatopoeia?
DAN:*speaks in weird voice* microwave
PHIL: That's not one!

Microwave 

(noun) A device used to warm up plates, and unevenly at that.
Some try their luck for a meal that ends up cooked perfectly, without localized burns while the other side remains frozen rock-hard, but legends say it has only been done once before, by Chuck Norris.
Friend: Ow, just burned my hand from the plate.
Me: You'd think you would get used to your microwave by now.
Friend: There's water everywhere and the centre has this creepy brown burnt spot.
Me: Thank god I can cook.
Microwave by ew1017 January 25, 2013

microwave 

I put a hot pocket in the microwave and my god, it did the strangest thing... it cooked itself!

Friend: What are you gonna make for dinner?

Me: Eh... prolly some left over mac 'n' cheese

Friend: But you cant cook it again, its already made!

*I put the mac 'n' cheese in the microwave and set the timer*

Both of Us: Oooooo.... magic.
microwave by Rale May 15, 2008

Microwave 

A girl who will get you warmed up but never cooks you well. A tease.
Bro 1: Hey man did you get with that girl from the party last night?

Bro 2: No she was a total microwave.
Microwave by Dotty23984 December 9, 2008