A busty, blonde, motherly creature of wanton desires and
loose tongue. Eternally pregnant and sporadically horny, this Midlands
beauty is a lover of the colour orange, strained
tea, JellyBattle, wicker baskets, whale beaters, Otis Redding, Seamus Heaney, maternity and Scottish accents.
Self-deprecating, feisty, and a good judge of pornography, the world doesn't have enough Orphelia.