Netsturbator 

Mostly nonsexual, yet somehow creepier than a Furbie. A blogger who cannot overcome their ego. From copious photos of their pets, to a daily diary consisting of grocery lists and parental disputes about cellphone bills, to linking their daily diaries to every possible filter on the net just so we can ALL see how ugly their spouse is, how bored/boring their cats are, how dorky their office/bedroom is. Prone to posting crude sketches of she-wolves or ultra-close-up selfportraits when zittiness is at apex.

"Have you ever seen confidential's site? That guy's a total Netsturbator! He actually listed his favorite movie as Titanic just to get chicks, and those cat pictures are like 7 years old. His cat's been DEAD for 4 years, man!"

Netsturbator by Stormtrooper With Cats May 4, 2006