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she was a punk and she did ballet

hayley williams and taylor swift. it's them. it's literally them.
Wow, did you see that performance that Hayley Williams of Paramore and Taylor Swift did last night? Yeah, they were literally the definition of "she was a punk and she did ballet"!

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.

The first verse of the song "Smash Mouth" by "All Star"
"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead."
Bob: "WHAT IS THIS?"
Sharyl: "GOD'S SINGING VOICE"
Bob: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" *eyes melt out of head*

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.

The first song of the verse "All Star" by "Shrek: The Movie"
Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.
ORly bro

she was a 10 at 2 and a 2 at 10 

Refers to a guy who has had a lot to drink (often around 2 A.M.) and seems to think that a certain woman - who is in fact NOT attractive - is a prize to take home - a 10. Upon awakening (figuratively 10 A.M.) he can't believe that he bed the dog - a 2 in the eyes of a sober man. He is awkwardly embarassed and often vows never to drink again in view of his drunken decision. His life is filled with reminders from comedic friends who never let him or his circle of friends EVER forget his encounter.
Scott: "Did you see that acne-cow Max went home with last night!?"
Connor: "How could you miss her! What a dog, and he slept with her?!?"
Scott: "Indeed my friend, after 15 beers he obviously had severe beer goggles only to find out that she was a 10 at 2 and a 2 at 10!"

Dear to whomever it has triggered, Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hand and killed by feet because she was so endowed in the trench that she was laid to rest so a male can portray the rest. Sincerely yours, Angel Jose Robles 

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Zero: Dear to whomever it has triggered, Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hand and killed by feet because she was so endowed in the trench that she was laid to rest so a male can portray the rest. Sincerely yours, Angel Jose Robles

one day I poked my brother in the eye with an apple pencil. she cried and cried. it was pretty warm so I didnt need a blanket on the hot day of winter 

Confliction. Also, you’re not automatically funny by putting this into Urban Dictionary
Guy1: one day I poked my brother in the eye with an apple pencil. she cried and cried. it was pretty warm so I didnt need a blanket on the hot day of winter
Guy2: You’re an idiot.