Astrology

A practice used to determine people’s personalities from the positions of stars and planets during their birthdays. Although it seems harmless, some idiots have used it to justify their hate for certain people.

Astrology lover: WhEn Is YoUr BiRtHdAy?
Normal person: November the-
Astrology lover: Ew YoUr A sCoRpIo GeT aWaY fRoM mE!!!1!1!
Normal person: What the hell is wrong with you?

Astrology by akt858 August 29, 2020

Astrology

Bullshit

Astrology is bullshit

Astrology by Yaboilongdong November 2, 2019

Astrology

Fake. No you’re not rude because you’re a Aries or Scorpio or whatever the fuck astrologers say.

I’m sorry baby, I’m just a Gemini so I cheat. Please take me back!

No Kelsey, stop blaming Astrology. The way the stars are lined up on your birthday is no excuse for you being an absolute cunt.

Date: Yeah I love astrology it’s totally 100% accurate.
Guy with brain; Ight Imma head out (leaves date)

Guy: I’m a Scorpio and my daily horoscope said that you have to suck my dick
Naive astrologer girl: Really? Ok!

Astrology by Justaguy31 November 30, 2021

Astrology

Astrology is a pseudoscience used to predict and explain peoples lives based on the annual location of space rocks.
Often followed and practiced by idiots who have no understanding of physics and how the other planets do not change the outcome of events.
In many cases, when accused of practicing pseudoscience, the astrologer will likely make some claim about how “you believe in evolution and that the moon impacts the tides, so why shouldn’t I believe in this?” The answer simply being that there is actually scientific evidence to support scientific beliefs, and there’s nothing scientific about astrological bullshit.

Idiot: oh, you’d better not sign that contract today, it’s Mercury retrograde rn
Intellectual: I could not care less about your astrology bullshit
idiot: but, but, it means that things will go wrong and you’ll have bad luck
intellectual: no it doesn’t you uneducated addlepate. Go back to school

Astrology by Esrioas July 22, 2018

Astrology

How predominantly white girls cover their insecurities

Did you hear? Suzie is into astrology?
Oh that bitch?

Astrology by cl00nkio April 26, 2020

astrology

When people ask you your "sign"- that's astrology. Horoscopes, signs, all that shit is astrology. People think it actually works because the predictions (horoscopes) are extremely vague and telling people what they want to hear, such as "you will make money" and "you will find true love". All these astrologers are making money off morons, and probably snorting coke off a hooker right now. Not to be confused with astronomy, the badass science of the universe.

1- "Okay, here's your horoscope. You will get a raise at the end of the year. Wow! Look! Astrology signs on my cellphone for 20$ a month, sign me up!"

2- "Here's your horoscope- fuck you."

astrology by 73H L337 H4X0R!!1 October 15, 2010

astrology

A barbaric,, pseudo-scientific, personality model used to explain away a person's neuroticism by measuring the trajectory of big rocks in the sky.

Person 1: I like dogs because I'm a Libra!
Person 2: Astrology is fake.
Person 1: Astrology is not fake.
Person 2: You're an idiot.

astrology by cyberphonic January 15, 2011