Machete 

A long dick- I mean, a long metal sword that is longer than a pen- I mean knife. It is often use for se- hunting!! It can cut through as- grass.

I stabbed my retarded friend with a machete

Machete by OneFuckingMachete October 2, 2019

machete 

spanish word for fucking big ass knife

dude isnt that fucking big ass knife you have a machete

machete by vayne arelius February 13, 2010

Machete 

a long knife, used for hacking your way through the jungle. also the most awesome zombie killing tool ever.

Shit, theres zombies outside. wheres my machete

Machete by ltdelicious May 4, 2009

Machete 

Machete is the most bad ass movie ever created. It is about Machete, and ex-Federale who is a legend to all Mexican-Americans, being betrayed by a company who hired him off of the street to assassinate Senator John McLaughlin. All out war is declared and Machete's Mexican-American army kick some fucking balls off. Also includes Lyndsay Lohan's tits.

Guy 1-Dude! Did you see Machete?

Guy 2- Hell ya! I jerked off so hard to Lindsay Lohan's tits!

Machete by skown March 5, 2011

machete 

A knife with a handle longer than most blades, and a thin, long, staight-edged blade. Used for hacking away at foliage in front of the weilder.

Hello, my name is Jason Vorhees, I wear a hockey mask, and I am a machete-killer addict

machete by Gumba Gumba April 12, 2004

machete 

Something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a BP. Usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.

*Van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out*
Jesse: Are you the fuckers I am supposed to whip the shit out of?
Me: HEY! Fuck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? Well, this makes it even Jesse, Me, and this machete
*Van pulls away with quite a quickness*

machete by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008

machete 

A chunk of sharp metal fitted with a handle that would cause any poor bastard a world of pain

did you know jason has a machete

machete by RET September 21, 2004