sorrowgate 

Someone whom you hire to feel sad for you.

Sometimes you can even hire a sorrowgate to **pretend** to feel "down in the mouth" instead of your having to fake it on your own, like at the funeral of someone who was always a major a**h**e to you, and so you're actually GLAD to finally be rid of him in your life.

sorrowgate by QuacksO December 24, 2019

Surrogate Whale 

A way of trolling which was developed on the bodybuilding forums, misc section. The strategy originated in a thread which was created by carboy109. The strategy was developed by Xorsos. The strategy allows an individual to defame a sloot by using nude pictures of another sloot. These sloots typically have a monstrous physique and are known as whales.

Carboy109: "If you see this image while scrolling the first page, you have been visited by the surrogate whale. You MUST post 'Thank you Surrogate Whale' or you will face loss of gains and NEGS for the rest of your life"

Xorsos: Thank you Surrogate Whale

Surrogate Whale by carboy109 May 10, 2013

Surrogate crop duster 

When you fart on a victim and they unknowingly walk past others with the stinch of your bowels.

I farted on my 2 year old and he ran to his mother. And she cringed at the smell' thinking he shat him self. Hence the surrogate crop duster.

Surrogate crop duster by Plumbsavvy November 18, 2013

Wet Dream Surrogate 

A prank by which an unsuspecting passed-out male is subjected to another male's ejaculate being emptied into his pants while asleep. If the prank is successful the Wet Dream Surrogate will awake to find the mess and believe it to be of his own making.

Did you hear? Bobby passed out at the party on the weekend and became a Wet Dream Surrogate.

Wet Dream Surrogate by King and Queen Gaper September 22, 2017

Violent Passion Surrogate 

The inflammatory allegations and viewpoints offered by pundits in the Mainstream Media, calculated to make people feel righteously indignant, angry, and/or fearful.

V.P.S. is great for keeping people divided over pointless issues and bogged down by a never-ending ending stream of misinformation and biased interpretations which exist only within a truncated frame of reference.
Letting yourself be moved by V.P.S., and especially holding it as sound knowledge is anathema to intelligence and progress as it only causes fragmentation and feelings of intellectual and moral superiority.

Etymology: Taken from Aldous Huxley's book, "Brave New World." In that book's planned perfect society, people need a monthly dose of a concoction called V.P.S. to expose their body to all of the violent emotions which their perfect society does not elicit. It is touted having "all of the tonic effects of killing Desdemona and being killed by Othello," and is essential for bodily health.

Example 1
News Junkie: "That fuckin Bill O'Reilly; how can anyone be so stupid and ignorant?"

Rational Thinker: "Relax, He's paid to be inflammatory and administer your Violent Passion Surrogate."

Example 2
Reactionary: "Goddamn Obama is gonna take away my guns and turn this into a socialist country!"
Rational Thinker: "Relax dude, if they're talking about it on the news it's probably not an important issue but a distraction from real goings-on. It's just some Violent Passion Surroagte to keep you from thinking clearly.

Violent Passion Surrogate by dreguan May 15, 2013

Surrogate Boyfriend 

1. For a female, a male friend who takes the place of a boyfriend when she is single. Generally speaking, a close male friend who is there emotionally, but is not receiving physical pleasure from the relationship.

2. A close male friend a girl goes to for emotional support when she is single.

Troy - so Dave, Candice came over to your place last night to talk huh?
Dave - yeah.
Troy - you do realize you're her surrogate boyfriend, right?
Dave - dude, no way.
Troy - totally way. She comes over, cries on your shoulder, hangs out, asks your opinion 'bout stuff. And you don't even make out with her? Total surrogate.
Dave - whatever.
Troy - and once she has a boyfriend she'll stop coming to you.

(6 months later)

Troy - see, Candice is now going out with Jason and she's stopped coming to you.
Dave - I was totally whipped.

(elsewhere)

Leslie - Candice, you're so lucky you had Dave while you and Tommy were broken up.
Candice - yeah, he was a good surrogate boyfriend. But I have Jason now so I'm able to go to him, my real boyfriend, when I have problems or wanna hang out.

Surrogate Boyfriend by ChipGirl August 19, 2008

surrogate girl/boyfriend 

also called a pseudo-girl/boy friend

a close friend of the opposite sex that you spend a lot of time with and talk to often much the same as you would with a girl/boyfriend, though they never will become your girl/boyfriend due to factors such as, but not limited to: age difference, the other person being in a relationship, the other person living too far away, fear of ruining the friendship etc.

You will often to "date-like" things with them, such as: go to dinner and a movie, take them to a party to introduce them to your friends, or have them meet your parents. though you will never do other "date-like" things, such as: hold hands while walking, get/give a kiss goodnight, have them to a big family function like Christmas dinner etc.

can be a cause of grief and jealousy if one of the friends is in a relationship and their girl/boyfriend feels threatened by the surrogate friend.

NOT to be mistaken for a friend with benefits, there are no sexual conotations on a surrogate friend.

Bob: i feel so bad for Tim, he really likes Sharon but she's been with her boyfriend for 8 months now, so Tim really has no chance

Bill: i know eh, they go to movies almost once a week, and Tim always pays. And they went on that camping trip on the long weekend. If someone didnt know better, they'd think Tim and Sharon were going out

Bob: Tim only wishes that was the case. Poor guy is hung up on her bad. Sharon is like his surrogate girlfriend

*having a surrogate girl/boyfriend sucks

surrogate girl/boyfriend by pb foot May 18, 2010