Skip to main content
The practice of reality TV pseudo-celebs, primarily on the Discovery Channel, using product in their beards to give the appearance of a long, hard, straight beard, resembling the male mammal penile erection in appearance.
Neil: "Did you catch all those beard-ons on Discovery last night?"

Bob: "I know, right? It's like they won't give you a show unless you're a visable douche..."
beard-on by BADxKARMA February 19, 2013
beard-on mug front
Get the beard-on mug.
See more merch
The state of arousal from the discussion, growth, touching or appearance of a beard or beards.
Did you check out Steve's facial hair lately? Handsome as fuck.

Yeah man, I got a total beard-on.
Beard-on by despicable-al March 24, 2021
Tyler: “Yo Dan I just finished my new anime season.” Dan: “Yo Tyler quit being suck a fucking beard on dude!”
Beard On by Xesman69 June 3, 2020

Beard on tash with a little bit of mash 

I assume derived from "chinny chin chin". To point out something said is a lie. A version of the saying for teenagers.

"Beard on tash with a little bit of mash" implies the lie is ludicrous. If less ludicrous you can use "Beard", "Beard on" or "Beard on tash".

All sayings must include a chin stroke.

Believe this comes from Portsmouth (Pompey) and surrounding areas of the South of UK.
Liar - "Alright mush, last night I smashed 20 birds"

Listener - "Beard on tash with a little bit of mash"

Slap a beard on that ho 

To have intercourse with a woman, and fill to give her so much testosterone in the process that she then proceeds to grow a beard.
Now that you've taken her back to your place, its time to slap a beard on that ho.

Put the beard on

The act of cunnilingus, or more colloquially to "go down on a woman" !
Person 1 : "What are you doing after work ?"
Person 2 : "I'm gonna go home, have a feed and a shower. Might grab the Mrs and "put the beard on" too !"

put the beard on

To clamp your mouth securely over the bearded clam of ones lady friend
Fancy a pint,

No i'm going home to put the beard on