zamboozee's definitions

Gymnopaedia

A yearly get together promoted by a load of ancient Spartans to peruse the equality of their youth, by allowing them to parade their prowess before them through the formalization of pederastic pedagogy via the medium of dancing; or, alternatively, a kinky Greek word not actually meaning the morbid fear of gyms, but it is quite close to being so, and which originally probably came about by knowing too much about what happens to young men in them.

Let’s go to the Gymnopaedia, you and I, it’s a good day to heckle those old men ogling the young men there, and teach them a lesson they’ll never forget, and with luck we’ll be able to ogle a few young women as well while we’re at it, just for good measure.

by Zamboozee April 18, 2011

Bouquiniste

A French-sounding, indeed unnecessary, word for someone who deals in second hand books, and usually being ones of an obscure or pedantic nature.

Ah, the joy of travelling to Paris to find a bouquiniste, it beats popping down to Cecil Court to find an obscure book on cartography anytime.

by Zamboozee April 13, 2011

double mind Jedi

Disrupting or attacking the opposition from within by secretly infiltrating its organization or territory through stealth, and then using its own weapons against it.

To eradicate all those who collaborate with an enemy by assassinating anybody who collaborated with the enemy is a double mind Jedi. As it is commonly known.

by Zamboozee May 28, 2011

Escargatoire

A snail hostelry; being a place where snails can snuggle up to each other and relax without fear of being trodden on with the hobnail boots of a passing deity, rather like as with mankind with his relation to a country inn on coming back from a hard day’s labour.

If a thoughtless snail can have faith in where it is going when it crosses the road to get to its escargatoire, why then cannot a man, who is much smarter, cross the street without going in fear of his life? Is it because he thinks he lives in fear, or that he does not think like a snail?

by Zamboozee March 5, 2011

Prediscoverer

One who has discovered something important to him before someone else had done so, who had subsequently rediscovered it later on in the time-line but has inadvertently called it his own discovery accidentally on purpose by mistake.

Well, my friend, it was I, by virtue of being its prediscoverer, who first discovered relativity, although you seem to have gotten all the credit for doing so.

by Zamboozee March 30, 2011

Furball

A tightly packed mass of hair regurgitated by a cat or other feline, or a dog, or an other hairy mammal, that comes from it licking itself all day long because it likes to do it, preferably while people are watching. In humans this behaviour has a scientific name, but it still does not make it any less disgusting.

A middle aged balding man with astigmatism and a sinister squint walks into a doctor’s surgery one day and says to the receptionist, “Well Doc. I puked up this massive hairball from my stomach this morning, straight after breakfast, I guess that this means you think I should stop eating my hair them?” Needless to say the receptionist was none too pleased at hearing this news about a man producing a furball for breakfast, not least because she had just came back from lunch.

by Zamboozee April 13, 2011

Officiousnado

A pretentious non-entity; somebody who does not completely lord it over all he surveys at the workplace or at a social gathering but would obviously like to, he being a sort of “straw-boss” of officious ceremonies, or, if not exactly so, something quite close to being so.

Why, if I did not know any better, my man, I’d call you an officiousnado, but the only reason I’d rather not is that I don’t particularly like spouting compound words or otherwise inventing neologisms while I’m incensed enough to make them up over such an insignificant, pushy little fellow as you obviously are.

by Zamboozee May 4, 2011