6 definition by zadanliran

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If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers – in short, third parties – to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target. He controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey. He employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done.

One form of control by proxy is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon another person. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, opprobrium, or even physical punishment) against the victim. Society, or a social group become the instruments of the abuser.
- He keeps sending his friends over to ask for stuff he left behind after he had moved out!

- Abuse by proxy, if you ask me!
by zadanliran October 25, 2011

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(In pathological narcissism) A confabulated persona presented to the outer world in order to secure admiration, adulation, and attention. The False Self is omniscient, omnipotent, brilliant, and perfect. It has many psychological functions.

The two most important are:

1. It serves as a decoy, it "attracts the fire". It is a proxy for the True Self. It is tough as nails and can absorb any amount of pain, hurt and negative emotions. By inventing it, the child develops immunity to the indifference, manipulation, sadism, smothering, or exploitation – in short: to the abuse – inflicted on him by his parents (or by other Primary Objects in his life). It is a cloak, protecting him, rendering him invisible and omnipotent at the same time.

2. The False Self is misrepresented by the narcissist as his True Self. The narcissist is saying, in effect: "I am not who you think I am. I am someone else. I am this (False) Self. Therefore, I deserve a better, painless, more considerate treatment." The False Self, thus, is a contraption intended to alter other people's behaviour and attitude towards the narcissist.
- This guy creeps me out. He is so vain, artificial, and a know-it-all!

- It's merely his False Self. Deep inside he is even worse!
by zadanliran November 02, 2011

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Attention – verbal and non-verbal – in the forms of affirmation, approval, or admiration or, conversely, in the forms of being feared, or gaining notoriety and infamy. Clinical malignant narcissists seek narcissistic supply compulsively.
- Have you seen this guy how's preening in front of the camera?

- Narcissist in search of narcissistic supply is all!
by zadanliran October 15, 2011

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The powers of self-delusion that abusers provoke in their victims. Malignant optimists refuse to believe that some questions are unsolvable, some diseases incurable, some disasters inevitable. They see a sign of hope in every fluctuation. They read meaning and patterns into every random occurrence, utterance, or slip. They are deceived by their own pressing need to believe in the ultimate victory of good over evil, health over sickness, order over disorder.
- My sister says that love and compassion are the solutions to her husband's battering and abuse. She won't leave him or even call the police!

- Malignant optimism for sure!
by zadanliran October 15, 2011

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Pathological (secondary) narcissism that is induced in adulthood by dysfunctional coping with celebrity, wealth, and fame.

The "victims" - billionaire tycoons, movie stars, renowned authors, politicians, and other authority figures - develop grandiose fantasies, lose their erstwhile ability to empathize, react with rage to slights, both real and imagined and, in general, act like textbook narcissists.

t is likely that ASN is merely an amplification of earlier narcissistic conduct, traits, style, and tendencies. Celebrities with ASN already had a narcissistic personality and have acquired it long before it "erupted". Being famous, powerful, or rich only "legitimized" and conferred immunity from social sanction on the unbridled manifestation of a pre-existing disorder. Indeed, narcissists tend to gravitate to professions and settings which guarantee fame, celebrity, power, and wealth.
- Did you see that singer's body language and mannerisms? I remember her when she embarked on her career only a year ago! She was so modest then!

- A case of Acquired Situational Narcissism, probably.
by zadanliran October 25, 2011

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Also called "covert narcissist", inverted narcissist is a co-dependent who depends exclusively on narcissists (narcissist-co-dependent).

The inverted narcissist craves to be in a relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on her. She actively seeks relationships with narcissists and only with narcissists, no matter what her (bitter and traumatic) past experience has been. She feels empty and unhappy in relationships with non-narcissists.
- Jane says her life without Chad is in sepia color. He brings technicolor into her existence!

- She must be a serious inverted narcissist, man!
by zadanliran October 15, 2011

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