n: an oxymoron, so glaring, that it gives you a headache.
Cloret: "Isn't 'first class' to 'Cleveland' an Oxymotrin?
Countess Vaughn: "I believe the word is
Oxymoron."
Cloret: "I ain't no moron! You're the one who's paying $4000 for a hot washcloth and Kangaroo Jack."
adj: When one is so horny (or drunk) that everyone, regardless of gender, looks fuckable.
"Wow! Last night, after that fourth shot of tequila, I was trolling around town and suffered a complete case of sexual disorientation! I don't even know who those people were in my bed this morning ... I need a shot! Brutal man!"
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n: The absolute smallest square footage that a developer can build a condominium unit without it being legally considered to be a pet carrier.
Bruce: "Hey Rob! I just bought a new 400 square foot condominimum!"
Rob: "For your cat?"
Bruce: "No! For me and my cat! It's really cool man! I can stand on the foot of my bed and piss into the kitchen sink!"
Famous Last Words by world renowned personalities, quoted by famous world scholars.
Some examples of famous last words:
"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head!" - JFK to Jackie just before his assassination.
"What the FUCK was that?!?" - The Mayor of Hiroshima as the A-Bomb was detonated.
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n: A female flight attendant.
John: "I was on a British Airways flight and the Sky Waitress brought me extra cookies!"
Britney: "Wow! That was really thoughtful!"
John: "Well, ya, considering that we were in a free fall from 30,000 feet."
n: A drunk latino woman with a bowl of fruit on her head, found passed out on your front porch in the morning. (Sad shades of Carmen Miranda).
"I was so embarrassed this morning, I had to step over a drunken Carmen on my Veranda this morning to get to Starbucks."
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v: The art of jacking off into a used sweat sock; usually used by dorm guys, teenage males, single guys and husbands - so, pretty much 'every' guy.
Cleanups are a breeze when you use jack-in-the-socks!
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