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Definitions by warmbrother

Douche Baguette 

The annoying and all too prolific children of douche bags.
Friend 1: "Jesus, I wish that kid would sit down and shut the fuck up so that we can enjoy our brunch."

Friend 2: "Yeah, his mother is on her phone just ignoring him."

Friend 1: "What a little douche baguette!"

Friend 2: "Excuse me!? Do you have any Grey Poupon??"

jack-in-the-socks 

v: The art of jacking off into a used sweat sock; usually used by dorm guys, teenage males, single guys and husbands - so, pretty much 'every' guy.
Cleanups are a breeze when you use jack-in-the-socks!

oxymotrin 

n: an oxymoron, so glaring, that it gives you a headache.
Cloret: "Isn't 'first class' to 'Cleveland' an Oxymotrin?

Countess Vaughn: "I believe the word is Oxymoron."

Cloret: "I ain't no moron! You're the one who's paying $4000 for a hot washcloth and Kangaroo Jack."
oxymotrin by warmbrother October 10, 2014

carmen on my veranda

n: A drunk latino woman with a bowl of fruit on her head, found passed out on your front porch in the morning. (Sad shades of Carmen Miranda).
"I was so embarrassed this morning, I had to step over a drunken Carmen on my Veranda this morning to get to Starbucks."

sky waitress 

John: "I was on a British Airways flight and the Sky Waitress brought me extra cookies!"

Britney: "Wow! That was really thoughtful!"

John: "Well, ya, considering that we were in a free fall from 30,000 feet."
sky waitress by warmbrother October 10, 2014

Condominimum

n: The absolute smallest square footage that a developer can build a condominium unit without it being legally considered to be a pet carrier.
Bruce: "Hey Rob! I just bought a new 400 square foot condominimum!"

Rob: "For your cat?"

Bruce: "No! For me and my cat! It's really cool man! I can stand on the foot of my bed and piss into the kitchen sink!"
Condominimum by warmbrother October 2, 2014

Sexual Disorientation

adj: When one is so horny (or drunk) that everyone, regardless of gender, looks fuckable.
"Wow! Last night, after that fourth shot of tequila, I was trolling around town and suffered a complete case of sexual disorientation! I don't even know who those people were in my bed this morning ... I need a shot! Brutal man!"