Definitions by vanishingly

Velveeta 

The most popular edible lubricant marketed by the Kraft Foods corporation as a food product. Popular for the distinctive “glop-glop” sounds it creates during sex, it is also a common cause of yeast infections.

Boomers always be busting out the velveeta before doing crazy shit with zucchinis.

Velveeta by vanishingly March 9, 2024

Finger licking good 

(adjective)

1. The flavor of Velveeta after being used as a lubricant for purposes of sex or masturbation.

2. The sensation of sexual satisfaction after using Velveeta as a lubricant for sex, masturbation, or any of a number of penetrative acts.

I just rubbed one out that was finger licking good!

Finger licking good by vanishingly March 9, 2024

Quarter Pounder with Cheese 

(n) The act of male masturbation with a number of large coins also held in one’s hand, using Velveeta as a lubricant.

See also: Finger Licking Good

The real reason you don’t see pay phones around anymore is that they always got gummed up from assholes who gave themselves a quarter pounder with cheese.

Quarter Pounder with Cheese by vanishingly March 9, 2024

Quarter Pounder 

(n) The act of male masturbation when performed with a number of large coins also held in one’s hand.

See also: Quarter Pounder with Cheese

Those sci-fi nerds are always getting hurt, giving themselves a quarter pounder to see what android sex is like.

Quarter Pounder by vanishingly March 9, 2024

texas 

(adj) Big and dumb

Watch out, that’s a texas wanker.

texas by vanishingly May 6, 2022

baculum

1. A bone, taken from raccoons before roasting, that is used by country folk as a tooth pick.

2. A bone present in most placental mammals, though not in humans, that is used to achieve or maintain an erection.

That hick sat there picking his teeth with a baculum.

baculum by vanishingly February 28, 2021

Miskatonic University 

A fictitious Ivy League school referred to in the works of H.P. Lovecraft, located in the fictitious city of Arkham, Massachusetts, notable for possessing a copy of the Necronomicon within its library collections.

I was to be part of the unlucky team, sent by Miskatonic University to study and explore the Antarctic continent.

Miskatonic University by vanishingly February 25, 2021