vaeren's definitions

failsuck

A phenomenon which occurs during the final stages of a bad situation (or failboat), failsuck is the tendency of a situation to consume huge quantities of time and resources before it is corrected, resolved or abandoned. Once a situation collapses under its own 'gravity of fail' it becomes a 'vortex of failsuck' that begins to consume all people, time, and resources in its vicinity.

John left the meeting, but was pulled back in when Steve suggested changing the contract, collapsing the meeting into a vortex of failsuck.

by vaeren April 25, 2009

playbackable

An oilfield term used to describe a condition that does not need to be corrected right away. For instance, a minor mistake which can be corrected later is deemed "playbackable."

The word originated when oilfield data was kept on computer tapes, and in order to re-access the data, the tape had to be played back.

Example:

Terry: "I can't believe I just spent my last $20 at the craps table. Too bad my bet isn't playbackable."

Example 2:

Jim: "I just computed some data with the wrong model."
Tom: "Don't worry, it's playbackable."

by vaeren March 18, 2009

Schlumberjargon

A collective term for technical (and often confusing) oilfield shop talk.

Oilfield Engineer A: "Hey, we need to do an RST and a PLT in this well. Somebody call Schlumberger."

Oilfield Engineer B: "Shouldn't we run an SCMT and a CHFR in addition to the RST?"

Oilfield Engineer A: "Nah, on second thought, we'll just P&A."

Normal Person: "Hey guys, shut up with all the Schlumberjargon and let's just do the job!"

by vaeren August 27, 2008

North Sea Facial

An exfoliating treatment provided by small hailstones driven by 60+ mph winds. Typically experienced on oil rigs and platforms in the North Sea, between Norway and the United Kingdom

The wind was blowing 75 knots today, and it was hailing, so I got a North Sea Facial on the way to the drill floor.

by vaeren January 26, 2008

password purgatory

The delay experienced after incorrectly typing your Windows login password, before you are allowed another chance to enter it.

I mashed the keys too much typing my password, so now I'm stuck in password purgatory

by vaeren August 20, 2008

schlumbergeer

A person holding the job title of Field Engineer, who happens to be employed by the oilfield services company Schlumberger. Such a person will normally work offshore or on land, at times on a drilling rig.

Dave, my friend from Nigeria, is a Schlumbergeer.

by vaeren October 1, 2011

CMS Coffee

n. A coffee break taken after a Catastrophic, Major, or Serious incident has occurred. Attendees at the CMS Coffee are usually quiet and reflective in demeanor. The most likely place for a CMS Coffee to occur is onboard an oil platform in Norway.

After spending 2 days trying to fix broken electronics, the crew sat down for a nice CMS Coffee.

by vaeren January 13, 2007