vaeren's definitions

puttin' foot to ass

Getting it done, making it happen. You aren't 'motivating' or 'empowering' or anything remotely similar - you're puttin' foot to ass!

Sally: "Wow, look at Tom telling those committee members what's what."

Rick: "Yeah, he's really puttin' foot to ass in there."

by vaeren October 16, 2009

failsuck

A phenomenon which occurs during the final stages of a bad situation (or failboat), failsuck is the tendency of a situation to consume huge quantities of time and resources before it is corrected, resolved or abandoned. Once a situation collapses under its own 'gravity of fail' it becomes a 'vortex of failsuck' that begins to consume all people, time, and resources in its vicinity.

John left the meeting, but was pulled back in when Steve suggested changing the contract, collapsing the meeting into a vortex of failsuck.

by vaeren April 25, 2009

offshore

1) n. The place in Norway to work.

2) adj. Unavailable for drinking/partying due to being on a rig.

3) v. Tricked, conned, or otherwise persuaded into going offshore.

1) I work offshore, we watch plasma TV's on coffee break.

2) I was offshore for the last 4 weekends.

3) I was supposed to be home for the holidays, but I got offshored. Looks like this year I'll have an offshore christmas instead.

by vaeren December 18, 2006

offshore christmas

n. A Christmas Eve or Christmas Day spent offshore on a rig or platform in Norway. Usually celebrated with a large, elaborate meal and boxes of chocolates.

My crew and I were running an RST job, so we had an offshore christmas.

by vaeren December 18, 2006

CMS Coffee

n. A coffee break taken after a Catastrophic, Major, or Serious incident has occurred. Attendees at the CMS Coffee are usually quiet and reflective in demeanor. The most likely place for a CMS Coffee to occur is onboard an oil platform in Norway.

After spending 2 days trying to fix broken electronics, the crew sat down for a nice CMS Coffee.

by vaeren January 13, 2007

FSM

Field Service Manager

We have problems - better call the FSM.

by vaeren January 13, 2007

lost time

n. An oilfield term describing time not spent doing the task at hand (drilling, producing, or servicing wells). Lost time typically results in telephone calls, e-mail and paperwork from the FSM.

We had four hours of lost time on the last shift.

by vaeren January 13, 2007