vaeren's definitions

CMS Coffee

n. A coffee break taken after a Catastrophic, Major, or Serious incident has occurred. Attendees at the CMS Coffee are usually quiet and reflective in demeanor. The most likely place for a CMS Coffee to occur is onboard an oil platform in Norway.

After spending 2 days trying to fix broken electronics, the crew sat down for a nice CMS Coffee.

by vaeren January 13, 2007

lost time

n. An oilfield term describing time not spent doing the task at hand (drilling, producing, or servicing wells). Lost time typically results in telephone calls, e-mail and paperwork from the FSM.

We had four hours of lost time on the last shift.

by vaeren January 13, 2007

offshore christmas

n. A Christmas Eve or Christmas Day spent offshore on a rig or platform in Norway. Usually celebrated with a large, elaborate meal and boxes of chocolates.

My crew and I were running an RST job, so we had an offshore christmas.

by vaeren December 18, 2006

failsuck

A phenomenon which occurs during the final stages of a bad situation (or failboat), failsuck is the tendency of a situation to consume huge quantities of time and resources before it is corrected, resolved or abandoned. Once a situation collapses under its own 'gravity of fail' it becomes a 'vortex of failsuck' that begins to consume all people, time, and resources in its vicinity.

John left the meeting, but was pulled back in when Steve suggested changing the contract, collapsing the meeting into a vortex of failsuck.

by vaeren April 25, 2009

puttin' foot to ass

Getting it done, making it happen. You aren't 'motivating' or 'empowering' or anything remotely similar - you're puttin' foot to ass!

Sally: "Wow, look at Tom telling those committee members what's what."

Rick: "Yeah, he's really puttin' foot to ass in there."

by vaeren October 16, 2009

playbackable

An oilfield term used to describe a condition that does not need to be corrected right away. For instance, a minor mistake which can be corrected later is deemed "playbackable."

The word originated when oilfield data was kept on computer tapes, and in order to re-access the data, the tape had to be played back.

Example:

Terry: "I can't believe I just spent my last $20 at the craps table. Too bad my bet isn't playbackable."

Example 2:

Jim: "I just computed some data with the wrong model."
Tom: "Don't worry, it's playbackable."

by vaeren March 18, 2009

Schlumberjargon

A collective term for technical (and often confusing) oilfield shop talk.

Oilfield Engineer A: "Hey, we need to do an RST and a PLT in this well. Somebody call Schlumberger."

Oilfield Engineer B: "Shouldn't we run an SCMT and a CHFR in addition to the RST?"

Oilfield Engineer A: "Nah, on second thought, we'll just P&A."

Normal Person: "Hey guys, shut up with all the Schlumberjargon and let's just do the job!"

by vaeren August 27, 2008