C&F is the magical moment when an older person’s inner disco diva awakens with the force of a thousand glitter bombs, transforming them from mild-mannered to oh-heck-yes-let’s-get-freaky mode in 0.2 seconds flat. It’s that inexplicable surge of excitement that makes them raid the closet for sequins, practice cheeky finger snaps, and rehearse dance moves that haven’t seen daylight since the ‘70s — all while mumbling, “Don’t underestimate my groove.”
This phenomenon usually strikes unexpectedly, triggered by events like a senior center dance, a surprise reunion, or even just the sight of a really good cheese platter. Once freaksy hits, all bets are off: the person will flirt with anyone who looks at them funny, break into spontaneous moonwalks, and confidently declare that they’re “still the hottest thing on the shuffleboard court.” Side effects may include loud laughter, contagious smiles, and the sudden disappearance of all dignity.
This phenomenon usually strikes unexpectedly, triggered by events like a senior center dance, a surprise reunion, or even just the sight of a really good cheese platter. Once freaksy hits, all bets are off: the person will flirt with anyone who looks at them funny, break into spontaneous moonwalks, and confidently declare that they’re “still the hottest thing on the shuffleboard court.” Side effects may include loud laughter, contagious smiles, and the sudden disappearance of all dignity.
by urmotherismine May 25, 2025
The feeling of sudden, uncontrollable enthusiasm that causes a person to flap their arms, shout incomprehensible phrases, or spin in a circle for no discernible reason. Commonly triggered by excessive joy, caffeine, or spotting a frog wearing a tiny hat.
In ancient folklore (that I just made up), being “zooted” was considered a blessing from the mythical squirrel god Blorbo of the Trees, who granted mortals temporary bursts of chaotic energy to escape boring conversations or awkward family dinners. Zooted individuals were marked by their glittery eyes, high-pitched giggles, and tendency to misplace objects they were literally holding.
Today, people may become zooted during moments such as receiving a mildly exciting text, hearing a good beat drop, or discovering that their fries came with extra nuggets. Symptoms include speed-walking for no reason, saying “slay” to inanimate objects, and aggressively complimenting strangers. There is no known cure — and honestly, why would you want one?
In ancient folklore (that I just made up), being “zooted” was considered a blessing from the mythical squirrel god Blorbo of the Trees, who granted mortals temporary bursts of chaotic energy to escape boring conversations or awkward family dinners. Zooted individuals were marked by their glittery eyes, high-pitched giggles, and tendency to misplace objects they were literally holding.
Today, people may become zooted during moments such as receiving a mildly exciting text, hearing a good beat drop, or discovering that their fries came with extra nuggets. Symptoms include speed-walking for no reason, saying “slay” to inanimate objects, and aggressively complimenting strangers. There is no known cure — and honestly, why would you want one?
by urmotherismine May 25, 2025