trilliam turdsworth's definitions

rip

a lot of people wonder why the verb "rip" is used to describe the activity of excreting a fart out of your ass. this is a fascinating subject. based on a great deal of research, we have concluded that when "ripping a nasty," you are quite lit'rally ripping a hole in the previously fart-less space-time continuum, and injecting a stinker into the emergent vacuum: thus, you are ripping. it was believe this coined by Albert "Airturds" Einstain in 1904 in his magnum o'piss, "An die Physiker des Stinkertons."

thomas pebbles: fucking shit, dude, i fucking ripped so loud last night right at the moment i oh'jizm'd with kara.
daniel day luiz: dude, i have done that, it sucks. so embarrassing, especially if a lil doodoo squirts out.
pebbles: yeah, was so nasty. karen didn't say anything though.
day luiz: my dad usually doesn't either but it's just how it goes.
pebbles: it felt so good though.

by trilliam turdsworth December 18, 2021

absolutestink

as absolute zero is to temperature, absolutestink is to farts. when someone unlooses an absolutestink, everything within a 14 foot diameter is vaporized instantly. those who are in the 14-30 foot range will no longer be able to smell anything for the rest of their lives, except the smell of #openass. for most people, the prospect of a life lived this way is too much to bear, and they off themselves within 1-2 days. in the 30-2000 foot range, most people will have chronic diarrhea or adult onset retardation.

i was heffin cyber sex with my girlfriend jim the other day, and she unleashed a monstrosity which displayed absolutestink. fortunately, she lives in russia so i was physically unaffected, however the sounds of human bodies being mangled in the background will haunt me forever.

by trilliam turdsworth January 18, 2024

Anu's Touch

Anu's Touch, stylized as Anustouch, is a permanently closed South Indian restaurant in Boobston, NJ that served what some consider them most innovative Indian dish of the 20th century: dehydrated miniature starfish in a brown curry glaze, garnished with corn. It is said to have tasted primarily of rancid vegetable oil. Other restaurants have attempted to reproduce the dish over the years, but none have succeeded in replicating the secret sauce—anu's touch. The founder, Jaggerwal Fatwinder, now long dead, claimed to have dreamt up the dish while under anaesthesia during the removal of a fat deposit in his forearm.

Bro, wanna do anu's touch tonight?
Thought ya'd never ask!

by trilliam turdsworth May 8, 2023

fart bottler

a person so self-absorbed that they bottle their own farts.

i met a girl in tulum who'd been chilling down there for six months already and had fucked like every local dude already. she was dece, but not exactly hot... it was obvious when she started talking about doing some "projects in ithaca" that she was a true fart bottler.

by trilliam turdsworth June 11, 2017

Ripturd

When someone blows off a dump and the expulsive force creates a foul shock wave that first travels outward and then bounces off the walls and travels back inward towards the source of the original buttblast. Those who aren’t steady on their feet can be swept up in the ripturd and carried either into the toilet or right up the brownfactory of said ripper.

Jo: I Nearly got caught up in the ripturd that Niro nastied yesterday.

Pat: fuck I gotta do one

by trilliam turdsworth January 5, 2023

hofart

when a ho fart, issa a ho fart
usually smell real funky
mix a stinkpuss and doodoo

i think i smell a hofart
yo dass nasty
jesus

by trilliam turdsworth September 14, 2021

Rusty gillespie

A Sex act popular in medævel times in which one person sticks a flute up another person’s snake burrow and plays a Celtic folk tune, before abruptly breaking off the flute so that part of it remains lodged up the pebble factory, Then farts triumphantly.

Would that thou wouldst rusty gillespie me.
I wouldst.

Oh hell ya
Just blast me off Charlie
You got it

by trilliam turdsworth March 11, 2022