the comand'r's definitions

fondookie

A dump that follows eating and immense amount of fondue. Also known as fonduece or fondump.

That guy was drinking so much and eating so cheese, that when he went skinny dipping later that night, he ended up laying a fondookie in the pool. He cleared the whole pool out when somebody noticed and yelled "We've got a code brown. Fondookie in the pool!"

by the comand'r October 5, 2013

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat

Hub: ah, dousche defined

by the comand'r January 2, 2024

no Starbucks

A location that is so remote that it does not even have a Starbucks within 5 minutes.

Driving through Paradise California a few months after the Camp Fire...
Jillian: Wow, this place is really desolate. It's like we are in the middle of nowhere.
Terry: Ya it is, no Starbucks.
Jillian: Not even able to place a mobile order to pull a Starbucks virtual cut.

by the comand'r June 25, 2019

Pie hole to bye hole

Simple 5 word term for the digestion process. Going from the pie hole (mouth/input) to the bye hole (ass hole/output).

Tamara: Adam, you don’t seem like you enjoy my cooking anymore.

Adam: I love your cooking. Just recently the pace of the pie hole to bye hole has picked up a bit. Not sure if I am aging or if you’ve been recently spicing up the dishes. I had a reaper reminder the other day. I woke up and had to blast mud and it was hot.

by the comand'r June 17, 2021

grandmapedia

Similar to wikipedia, though not anywhere near as factual. Grandmapedia is knowledge that is not available on the internet, as Grandma is not connected to the Internet and generates her own facts and content.

Grandma: The Rolling Stones band is very well educated. You know Mick Jagger has two PhDs.
Daughter: No, mom. I don't think that is accurate.
Grandma: Yes it is. The whole band is highly educated
Grand daughter: I find that hard to believe.
Grandma: Keith Richards also graduated with some great degrees.
Son: I believe that this is factual according to grandmapedia, though may not be available on wikipedia.

by the comand'r February 2, 2018

Couplegänger

More rare to see than a doppelgänger as it is a couple that is the spitting image of another couple

Barney: Cartman, check out that couple who just walked in. It is the spitting image of Eric and Melissa. Crazy, as they missed their flight and could not meet us here in Pompei, and there they are.

Cartman: Whoa, that is insane. She is wearing the same dress that Melissa has and the dude is wearing a pork pie hat and snapping photos, just like Eric. Total Couplegänger!

by the comand'r June 10, 2025

Heat seat

The uncomfortable situation when using a toilet and the seat is warm from the previous user.

Brendan: I was at work early this am and hardly anyone was in the office, though when I went to take a dump, I found the seat was warm.

Frank: Man, what are the odds. There are four stalls and you chose the one with the heat seat.

Brendan: ya, not great way to start my day. I was simply finishing my coffee.

by the comand'r October 15, 2016