8 definitions by templegate

nip to the braes

the promise of a very short timebound trip that inevitably becomes an event that far surpasses even paddy boot’s expectations

“its a bank holiday this weekend so i’m off to the co-op for a dozen loaves of bread… i’m gonna nip to the braes for a half on the way back”

(12 hours later, wakes up in spearchuckers to the sound of guitar playing)

by templegate April 1, 2023

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Sutherland cocksucker

a golspie trooper, a cunt of extreme proportiona

just travelled on the A9 and seen a whole load og Sutherland cocksuckers in the Stags Head

by templegate March 17, 2023

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the most unseen

The act of becoming, and then swiftly unbecoming, ‘seen’. Typically occassioned through regular trips to Spar for discreet half bottles of vodka to then slam and become ‘unseen’ for a prolonged period

“i have just seen the most unseen, high-stepping with a bottle-shaped package and definitely ‘not without’, heading south… i think he will be living up to his name until at least Monday.

by templegate March 18, 2023

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billy’s fish

the guarantee of copious volumes of free merchandise that never ever materialises

Billy: “Hey George, I’m starting at Campbell’s next week, I’ll be able to get you a freezer-full of fish”

20 years later

Jake: “George, did you get billy’s fish”?

George: “Absolutely fuck all, not even a fucking prawn. Freezer is still full of air”

by templegate March 18, 2023

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