by templegate March 03, 2023
“Hey Wong, i’m paying you for coal you arsehole and you’ve given me coalstones, I may as well set fire to a brick”
by templegate March 11, 2023
the price you pay for daring to cross the brora bridge by foot due to drunks tapping you up for owl for vodka
“i need to go shopping but i can’t afford it due to the brora bridge toll… its fucking cheaper crossing the forth road bridge”
by templegate April 05, 2023
by templegate February 27, 2023
Billy: “Hey George, I’m starting at Campbell’s next week, I’ll be able to get you a freezer-full of fish”
20 years later
Jake: “George, did you get billy’s fish”?
George: “Absolutely fuck all, not even a fucking prawn. Freezer is still full of air”
20 years later
Jake: “George, did you get billy’s fish”?
George: “Absolutely fuck all, not even a fucking prawn. Freezer is still full of air”
by templegate March 18, 2023
the promise of a very short timebound trip that inevitably becomes an event that far surpasses even paddy boot’s expectations
“its a bank holiday this weekend so i’m off to the co-op for a dozen loaves of bread… i’m gonna nip to the braes for a half on the way back”
(12 hours later, wakes up in spearchuckers to the sound of guitar playing)
(12 hours later, wakes up in spearchuckers to the sound of guitar playing)
by templegate April 01, 2023
The act of becoming, and then swiftly unbecoming, ‘seen’. Typically occassioned through regular trips to Spar for discreet half bottles of vodka to then slam and become ‘unseen’ for a prolonged period
“i have just seen the most unseen, high-stepping with a bottle-shaped package and definitely ‘not without’, heading south… i think he will be living up to his name until at least Monday.
by templegate March 18, 2023