telephony's definitions

Metrosexual

A man who has a sexual attraction to city buses; esp. in Seattle where the transit system is called Metro and the buses are all labelled Metro on their fronts.

{Juan}: Hey Larry! Did you know that John is a Metrosexual?
{Larry}: Yes I did Juan; I've known that for years if not decades now. He's a real fucking bus freak.

by Telephony June 12, 2018

voluntary loss of stool

When you have to leave a shit (I know, it's supposed to be take a shit, but in the immortal words of the late great comedian George Carlin, you don't take a shit, you leave a shit!), you tell whomever is nearby that you need to go and experience voluntary loss of stool.
This is the most gentle, curse-free way to say that you need to go and pinch a loaf.

{Paul}: Hold on a few minutes there George, I need to run and have voluntary loss of stool!
{George}: Ok, whatever Paul. :-/

by Telephony December 30, 2014

satandamned

This word means the same as, "goddamned" but a different deity is referenced.

{From a website about phoney-bologna fake 'battles' between various commercial spokespeople, spokesanimals, and spokesthings}: "That goddamn faggoty-ass talking Taco Bell dog goes to the drive through window and relieves the till of a roll of quarters. It takes aim at that satandamned Kia Rapping Rat, and let's 'er rip! The roll of quarters misses it's intended target and explodes rather noisily against the manager's door."

by Telephony August 25, 2014

sack-e-poo

A phrase (spoken as though it were a single word) that simply means, "bed".

{Paul} After I finish this smoke, I'm gonna hit the sack-e-poo.
{Craig} Sounds good. Good night Paul!

by Telephony September 18, 2019

Piss you!!!

Much like pee you!!! but stronger; piss you!!! is an exclamation used when you encounter a person or thing that ***REALLY*** reeks.

PISS YOU!!! That fucking jug of milk must have gone off at least two weeks ago!!! :-(

by Telephony December 28, 2011

Kotex masturbator

Somebody who achieves sexual gratification by spanking the monkey over or onto a tampon, bloody or new.

Didja hear that Maxwell is a true Kotex masturbator? Yeah, he fishes his girlfriend's bloody tampons out of the wastepaperbasket and attempts to inseminate them! How gross!!!

by Telephony February 16, 2014

computator

Somebody who spends the majority of their free time on their computer.

May also be used to describe the computer neophyte.

{From a TV spot for portable generators}:

Got a new incinerator,
Got a cool refrigerator,
Smell ya later computator
WORK! HOME!! PLAY!!!

by Telephony July 3, 2014