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Definitions by telephony

titty tisses 

This phrase means the same as, "kitty kisses" in where a pet cat repeatedly licks your arm, hand, or face.
{Craig}: Hey Angie, check out this video I uploaded to YouTube that shows Nikki lavishing me with titty tisses!
{Angie}: Aww isn't that cute!?!
titty tisses by Telephony October 3, 2014

Pecker Rooter 

This is a variation of the short song, "Peter Rooter" that appeared on the Cheech & Chong audio-only album, "Los Cochinos" from 1973.
Hey there swingin' bachelors
Tired of that steady drip
Drip, drip of gonorrhea?
Then Pecker Rooter might be just what you've been waiting for

♪Pecker Rooter, that's the name♪
♪You just flush your troubles♪
Down the drain
♪Rotten pecker, rotten pecker, rotten pecker♪
Pecker Rooter by Telephony October 1, 2014

Pecker Rooter 

This is a variation of the short song, "Peter Rooter" that appeared on the audio-only album, "Los Cochinos" from 1973.
Hey there swingin' bachelors
Tired of that steady drip
Drip, drip of gonorrhea?
Then Pecker Rooter might be just what you've been waiting for

♪Pecker Rooter, that's the name♪
♪You just flush your troubles♪
Down the drain
♪Rotten Pecker, rotten pecker, rotten pecker♪
Pecker Rooter by Telephony September 30, 2014

i don't give a Funyun 

A clean way of saying the phrase, "I don't give a fuck".
Safe for use around children.
{Ken}: Hey Jose!
The Mariners just took the World Series

{Jose}: Ken, I don't give a Funyun!!!
Those phuckers can go to H-E-Double-Bendy-Straws for all I care. :-/
i don't give a Funyun by Telephony September 28, 2014

toilet bowl paper 

What a roll of bungwipe becomes when it falls into the toilet and subsequently requires disposal.
{Ed}: Myrna, can you run get me another roll of assiton assimilators please? This roll fell into the can, becoming toilet bowl paper!
{Myrna}: Ed, that's the third time this month that you've made toilet bowl paper! Won't you please fix the TP dispenser?!?
toilet bowl paper by Telephony September 22, 2014

pole pig 

A step-down transformer, the same shape as and somewhat larger than a garbage can, normally seen bolted to the side of a utility pole in many suburban & rural neighbourhoods.

Pole pigs convert 7,200 or 4,300 volts distribution power down to 120 and 240 volts used by most homes in the United States.
Hey Martha!
Check out that pole pig over there -- the bolts that hold it to the pole are rusted and are about to bust!
That pole pig's going down!!!
pole pig by Telephony September 20, 2014

I'll have the poo-poo platter

Originally from the movie. "A Bug's Life"; when you're about to receive news that you already know is going to be shitty.
{Derek}: Ron, I've got some terrible news for you.
{Ron}: Ok, I'll have the poo-poo platter!

{Derek}: I accidentally ran over your cat this morning; it was as flat as a pancake and there were all these pink gooey things everywhere.