telephony's definitions

Open Mike

A rather unfortunately common misspelling of the phrase, "open mic" which is an event staged by bars & nightclubs allow ordinary people to go onstage and sing, tell dirty jokes, or spout off a bountifully overflowing cornucopia of toilet tongue just to try and liven up an otherwise dull house.

Seen in printed material only (such as a sign in a window); as "open mike" and, "open mic" are pronounced exactly the same.

MAY 31 OPEN MIKE FROM 7 TO 11

by Telephony May 15, 2015

lite

How a faggot would spell the word, "light".

{Seen on a C=64 demo by Abyss in 1988}

A ? TO EVERYONE: ONLY A FAGGOT WOULD REPLACE "GHT" WITH "TE". .. EX. LIGHT AND LITE. NIGHT AND NITE. WHAT IS YOUR GUY'S GAY INCEST WITH THE "TE" COMBO?

by Telephony January 12, 2017

no perspiration

How an anal retentive buttknocker might say the phrase, "no sweat".

{Scott}: Hey Aaron, can you move that board off the lawn please?
Aaron}: Sure Scott, no perspiration!

by Telephony March 12, 2022

Toliet Denver

How some people might speak, write, or type the name of the musician, "John Denver".

I mean think about it. A john is another word for a toliet.

Hey, didjya hear that Toliet Denver was on the radio this morning? Something about him putting cake on the griddle instead of in the oven and something about playing a violin.

by Telephony June 29, 2015

spatcheler

How Mr. Krabs on the TV program SpongeBob SquarePants often pronounces the word, "spatula"

{Mr. Krabs}: SpongeBob, did you break your spatcheler again?

by Telephony June 6, 2014

Hose down

To shoot somebody with a gun; shooting in such a manner that the target is either dead as a doorknob or unable to walk away.

Did you hear that Bernie in Seattle got hosed down last week?

I so want to hose down that dumb stupid enemabag, but I don't want to go to jail.

by Telephony September 14, 2010

Cabbage White

Common name given to the Cabbage Butterfly (species Pieris rapae), which is a small white butterfly that is widespread and populations can be found across Europe, North Africa, Asia, and Great Britain. It has also been accidentally introduced to North America, Australia and New Zealand.

{Marge}: Honey, look over there! There's a Cabbage White fluttering around that rhody bush.
{Drake}: It's a small white butterfly for Christ sakes -- as if I gave a rat's patootie about it!!!

by Telephony August 18, 2014