tagz's definitions

Danger Wood

n. The immediate and ridiculously enormous boner that magically appears when it becomes obvious that you are about to engage in sex in a place or with a person (or both) that you shouldn't.

My roommates girlfriend just whispered in my ear that she wants to fuck me now, in the laundry room, while the party is going on. You can't imagine the Danger Wood I got when she said that!

by Tagz November 8, 2011

leapover

n. A rare phenomena, similar in severity to a hangover, but occurring on the second day after heavy drinking with a strangely deceiving, asymptomatic day in between.

Ralph was power-drinking at the party on Friday night to the point where he almost passed out. He was up early on Saturday claiming no ill effects, only to suffer a debilitating leapover all day Sunday.

by Tagz January 18, 2010

Pee-gatory

Indecisive state of being upon waking in the middle of the night. Your body is too exhausted to get up, and your bladder is too full to get back to sleep.

We started drinking so early I fell asleep at 8 o'clock. When I woke up at 4:30, everyone was gone, and I was in Pee-gatory.

by Tagz December 9, 2008

Off Your Meds

adj.
1. Crazy. Exhibiting bizarre behavior.
2. Making merit-less arguments or defending ridiculous positions.
* Note: center pronoun is easily substituted.

R: When Stephanie & I get married, we've decided that our relationship will be based on equality of influence and mutual respect.
S: . . . are you off your meds?! Your opinion will mean nothing, you will be utterly powerless. Get used to it.

by tagz October 22, 2008

Fire The Retros!

Used as an interjection. Tells the subject he/she a)Is moving too quickly, b)Has gone too far in speech or action and needs to "back up" or c)Has breached the TMI rule and divulged something inappropriately personal.

Larry: Beth is the best thing that ever happened to me. I think I'm going to ask her to marry me. Will you help me look for a ring?
Danny: Fire The Retros! You met this girl like six weeks ago. Slow down you moron.

by Tagz January 15, 2009

Buying Frozen Peas

Coded phrase for: "Getting a vasectomy" since part of the post-operative instructions suggest you place a bag of frozen peas on the sight of the incision for the first few days in order to reduce swelling.

We've decided not to have any more kids, so I'm seriously considering buying frozen peas.

by Tagz January 19, 2011

bedgasm

A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.

It was a three hour drive in the middle of the night, I could barely stay awake. When I got home, I climbed under the covers and had a ten-minute bedgasm.

by tagz December 9, 2008