tagz's definitions

said no one ever

Declarative phrase appearing at the end of a statement which effectively negates the meaning of the previously stated text. Essentially, the presence of this statement instructs the reader that what has been stated up to this point is a fallacy in that no one would make that statement under any circumstances, at any time (in the past, present or future) in any corner of the known universe.

I am so tired of bacon that I hope I never have to eat it again. Said no one ever.

by tagz May 1, 2013

Buying The Puppy

Phrase used to describe the act of developing an emotional attachment to a person, thing, or cause. The implied sentiment is that the commitment was taken on despite feelings of apprehension.

We tried to let David know we were concerned about his new girlfriend. We don't like her but it's too late . . . David is buying the puppy.

by Tagz May 2, 2008

Gasmic Bypass

n. A drastic change in mental or physical state causing a person to completely lose their appetite for sex. Comes in two forms: Temporary or Chronic.

Larry: According to our couples therapist, my spousal disinterest and insensitivity are the primary reasons for Linda's Gasmic Bypass.
Joe: Temporary?
Larry: Sadly, No. We've moved on to Chronic.

by Tagz February 28, 2009

Fire The Retros!

Used as an interjection. Tells the subject he/she a)Is moving too quickly, b)Has gone too far in speech or action and needs to "back up" or c)Has breached the TMI rule and divulged something inappropriately personal.

Larry: Beth is the best thing that ever happened to me. I think I'm going to ask her to marry me. Will you help me look for a ring?
Danny: Fire The Retros! You met this girl like six weeks ago. Slow down you moron.

by Tagz January 15, 2009

Buying Frozen Peas

Coded phrase for: "Getting a vasectomy" since part of the post-operative instructions suggest you place a bag of frozen peas on the sight of the incision for the first few days in order to reduce swelling.

We've decided not to have any more kids, so I'm seriously considering buying frozen peas.

by Tagz January 19, 2011

bedgasm

A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.

It was a three hour drive in the middle of the night, I could barely stay awake. When I got home, I climbed under the covers and had a ten-minute bedgasm.

by tagz December 9, 2008

Gi-fucking-normous

adj. Almost un-fathomable in scope and size. Normally reserved for an object or objects that are large enough so as to be described as planetary in size. Larger than gi-normous by a factor of ten.

I hadn't seen her in 15 years. Her face looks good, but her ass is just gi-fucking-normous!

by tagz June 3, 2007