tagz's definitions

bedgasm

A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.

It was a three hour drive in the middle of the night, I could barely stay awake. When I got home, I climbed under the covers and had a ten-minute bedgasm.

by tagz July 29, 2007

precop

abbr. (pre-copulation agreement) A mutually binding agreement (usually verbal) by and between consenting adults prior to engaging in casual sex. The agreement stipulates that all involved parties are excused from emotional attachment, post coital contact, and any promise of future sex. Any and all disputes arising from said contract should be submitted and negotiated through binding arbitration. This agreement must involve a minimum of two individuals, with the maximum number to be determined in practical application.

Q: So, you stud, are you going to call Tina today?
A: No, I believe that would be a violation of our precop.

by tagz February 23, 2008

said no one ever

Declarative phrase appearing at the end of a statement which effectively negates the meaning of the previously stated text. Essentially, the presence of this statement instructs the reader that what has been stated up to this point is a fallacy in that no one would make that statement under any circumstances, at any time (in the past, present or future) in any corner of the known universe.

I am so tired of bacon that I hope I never have to eat it again. Said no one ever.

by tagz May 1, 2013

Gasmic Bypass

n. A drastic change in mental or physical state causing a person to completely lose their appetite for sex. Comes in two forms: Temporary or Chronic.

Larry: According to our couples therapist, my spousal disinterest and insensitivity are the primary reasons for Linda's Gasmic Bypass.
Joe: Temporary?
Larry: Sadly, No. We've moved on to Chronic.

by Tagz February 28, 2009

Pee-gatory

Indecisive state of being upon waking in the middle of the night. Your body is too exhausted to get up, and your bladder is too full to get back to sleep.

We started drinking so early I fell asleep at 8 o'clock. When I woke up at 4:30, everyone was gone, and I was in Pee-gatory.

by Tagz December 9, 2008

Off Your Meds

adj.
1. Crazy. Exhibiting bizarre behavior.
2. Making merit-less arguments or defending ridiculous positions.
* Note: center pronoun is easily substituted.

R: When Stephanie & I get married, we've decided that our relationship will be based on equality of influence and mutual respect.
S: . . . are you off your meds?! Your opinion will mean nothing, you will be utterly powerless. Get used to it.

by tagz October 22, 2008

Buying The Puppy

Phrase used to describe the act of developing an emotional attachment to a person, thing, or cause. The implied sentiment is that the commitment was taken on despite feelings of apprehension.

We tried to let David know we were concerned about his new girlfriend. We don't like her but it's too late . . . David is buying the puppy.

by Tagz May 2, 2008