captain

n. Hardened Cock. Erect Penis. Pan Handle

The captain stood to attention, and entered the ladie's garden.

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

wizard's beard

n. also Gandalf's Beard. A very hairy meat pie, where the lips appear to continue down the legs a lot further than normal due to copious amounts of hair.

"It took me ages to reach the beef curtains; I had to wrestle with her wizard's beard first"

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

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Get the wizard's beardmug.

beer scooter

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. The remarkably quick method by which you get home after a night out on the piss, forcing you to remark you had an indelible mode of transport. (N.b. please also be aware of 'beer scooter with a puncture' which is a much slower form of transport, where you start out with speedy intentions; but spend the majority of the night dragging extra equipment attached to your legs)

"How did you get home Sebastian?"

"On a beer scooter"

"Oh"

by stouffer March 04, 2003

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Get the beer scootermug.

beer muffs

n. Mystical auratory additions which remove the necessity for sensiant conversation, and replace any understanding of people speaking to you with a garble mess, to which a derogatory response is necessitated by being stunningly pissed.

"Now, Frank, the oven's on and I'm off out with the girls; remember to feed the baby, check on the dinner and pay the car tax. Okay?"

"I FECKIN' LARVE YOOO, YOOO FACKIN' SEXY MINX"

by stouffer March 04, 2003

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Get the beer muffsmug.

mystery taxi

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. similar to beer goggles in their effect on the morning after...but...when you're SO pissed you're SURE the woman you pulled last night was better looking than the bush hog you're lying next to when you wake up.

"holy shit...who the fuck are you? Bollocks, the pretty bird I pulled has been taken away by the Mystery Taxi. Please get out of my home"

by stouffer March 04, 2003

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