captain

n. Hardened Cock. Erect Penis. Pan Handle

The captain stood to attention, and entered the ladie's garden.

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

wizard's beard

n. also Gandalf's Beard. A very hairy meat pie, where the lips appear to continue down the legs a lot further than normal due to copious amounts of hair.

"It took me ages to reach the beef curtains; I had to wrestle with her wizard's beard first"

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

plums

n. Balls. Globes. Happy sacks.

"If you've finished polishing the captain, you could have a suck on my plums"

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

porn

n. Reading and viewing material, otherwise known as 'cliterature'.

As Bill Hicks once said "any material devoid of content that induces sexual thoughts. So every advertising campaign on TV. When I'm watching that double-mint commercial 'double the pleasure - double the fun' with those twins; I'm not thinking about gum, that's for fucking sure"

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

wizard's sleeve

n. similie. A huge twat, akin to Gandalf's cloak in lord of the ring's, from which one could feasibly magically produce a rabbit, a deck of cards and make the empire state building dissapear. See also clown's pocket, welly top

"I nearly lost my head in her wizard's sleeve"

by Stouffer November 07, 2002