speedog's definitions

unintentionally hilarious

Adjective: description of any expression, statement or definition which, although originally intended in earnest, results adversely in humorous disdain.

"Wendy's attempt to explain how her underwear ended up in the frat house rec room was unintentionally hilarious."

by speedog April 28, 2010

dago dazzlers

Noun (plural): a multiplicity of official (or official-looking) documents, permits, passes, and/or letters of authorization, typically bearing apparently authentic governmental stamps, seals, and signatures, to be presented mostly by scientific expeditions from developed nations whenever challenged by local, often sub-literate, authorities attempting to impede their progress to extort monies or other remunerations in return for “safe passage” through a specific area under their control; the intent being to thwart such local tactics by implication of the threat of condign action from a superior governmental power should the papers presented be ignored.

"Suddenly our progress was halted by a group of armed men, but after a few tense minutes they waved us along, after Dr. Keller flashed his packet of dago dazzlers in their faces."

by Speedog December 2, 2009

Admiral of the Ocean Sea

Noun (naval terminology): the universally supreme naval rank, awarded historically only to one seaman (Christopher Columbus) jointly by HRM Ferdinand and HRM Isabella of Spain, in recognition of his achievement in successfully navigating the Atlantic Ocean westward and (presumed at the time) the discovery of a shorter, less hazardous, and less expensive trading route to India from Europe.

"Upon his return from his first voyage to America, Christopher Columbus received the rank and title of "Admiral of the Ocean Sea" from Ferdinand and Isabella,
which rank he holds in perpetuity."

by speedog May 2, 2010

Time barrier

Noun: the theoretical limit of real-time velocity in the known universe, at which point positive time halts, and the mass of any object traveling at that speed become infinite and incapable of any increase in velocity.

"In 1994, Dr. Miguel Alcubierre formulated a hypothetical propulsion system that could, in theory, break the time barrier."

by speedog June 25, 2010

causality

Noun (physics terminology): the natural sequential relation between any cause and its subsequent effect in the known universe, in which any effect is invariably preceded by the cause of that effect, and never the reverse.

"Newton's Third Law of Motion is essentially a confirmation of the principle of causality."

by speedog April 30, 2010

Honorary American citizenship

Title: the supreme honor bestowable by the United States of America, awarded (as of the current date) to seven individuals (in ascending chronological order): Sir Winston Churchill (1963); Rauol Wallenberg (1981); William Penn & Hannah Callowhill Penn (1984); Mother Teresa (1996); General La Marquis du Lafayette (2002); General Count Kasimierz Pulaski (2009).

In April 1963, President Kennedy awarded Sir Winston Churchill with the highest honor of the United States, Honorary American citizenship.

by speedog June 16, 2010

Traveller

Name: the equestrian mount of Confederate General Robert E. Lee during his service as commander of The Army of Northern Virginia in the American Civil War (a.k.a. The War Between the States).

During the Battle of Gettysburg, Traveller maintained his composure regardless of the bullets that were flying around himself and General Lee.

by speedog June 16, 2010