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shitty Nicko's definitions

Director's commentry

1)On a DVD a director quietly commentin
on the films events,storyline,special fx

2)Outside a train station a smelly gentleman of the road muttering into his can of Tennents Super,commentin on the weather,"what's he lookin at?", "that bitch", etc
What fur yee lickin aat ma porpull TIN ye jakey kaant,wanna get oot ta Leith fir a burst mooth ya flabby bashtard...
by shitty Nicko November 18, 2004
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wife beater

A perticularly strong/ cheap/ cheap+strong alcoholic beverage best served ice cold from a can. Usualy beer or cider.Makes you want to smile,then frown,the hit someone/anyone,then sell the childrens toys for more of it.

The "harder stuff" is reffered to as "wreck the house"
Can I offer you some fine South African wine sir,or some light+frothy larger?

Nah, give us the usual.

Very good sir,10 cans of wife beater and a pub sized bottle of wreck the house comming up sir!!
by shitty Nicko November 18, 2004
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fly's eyes

the act of pushing one's ball bag through the buttoned hole at the front of mens boxer shorts
try it at home in front of mirror / girlfriend's pairents
by shitty Nicko November 17, 2004
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piss rifle

The piss induced erection men wake up with,usualy after a few beers the night before.Second only to diamond in atomic rigidness it is impossible to bend down towards the toliet bowl for a hit and miss,forcing men to go walking the plank.
AKA: Dawn Horn,Morning Root,etc
Jesus christ,put that thing away you pervy little fuck!!

Sorry Mum,these boxers weren't built for piss rifles.
by shitty Nicko November 19, 2004
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Mexican picnic

An act of love between two men and a woman,where one man enters her through her flange,whilst the other enters her ass. Sticking another member in her mouth give's you a Mexican barbacue.
Minnie Mouse:Oh wow,you guys want me to go to your picnic! Should I bring any special types of food or drink?

Micky Mouse and Pluto: Snigger,wink,nudge,etc
by shitty Nicko June 11, 2006
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ESS

Empty Sack Syndrome: After a long day of "self dicipline" infront of a few porn DVD's, the bloke goes to have one last one before going to sleep. He is suffering from ESS if all he manages to conjure forth is a grunt and a wince.
No need for a joe-bag love, got a lend of Charlies Anal's of one of the lads and ive got a bad case of ESS!
by shitty Nicko November 19, 2004
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Gentleman of the road

A "man of leasure" who spends his days rambling from one place to another,with a cheerful smile and a knapsack and stick over his shoulder,greeting people warmly and brightining up their lives.

In the real world a lice ridden tramp with a can of wife beater in one hand and a HIV filled syringe in the other,pissing against your front door and shouting incoherrently at passers by .
I used to be in a highly stressed stock dealership,wastein my life at work.But now im addicted to crack ive become a gentleman of the road with all the spare time in the world!! Couldn't give us 50p for a cup a tea mate?
by shitty Nicko November 18, 2004
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