scott trowbridge's definitions

shuffleboard

Once upon a time white people played a game called shuffle board at racially segregated country clubs. When most country clubs became desegregated, the white people stopped playing the game because it was too embarrassing for anyone outside their imagined aristocracy to know about.

Hubert: Mildred would you like to play some shuffleboard.
Mildred: That would be swell Hubert.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

pro wrestler-esque

adj. reminiscent of pro wrestlers. Can describe a variety of attributes such as voice, hair, body type, mullet, or apparel.

Person1: dude, check out this awesome new haircut; business in front party in back!!
person2: Bad Ass dude, that mullet is pro wrestler-esque.

by scott trowbridge July 9, 2006

joe schmo

A regular person. Often but not necessarily with a slightly negative connotation. Etymologically related to "Average Joe" and "Schmo" a Yiddish word for idiot.

I'm scared as hell of becoming some Joe Schmo, watching football, drinking beer that my fat wife brings me, and blaming my farts on my dog.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

Altiholic

Gaming: The state of being an alt-addict; someone who has more than a reasonable number of 'alts' (alternative characters) in a game.

Generic Global Name1 including the word Lord: Hai, sup? lol ur lvl 10?1!!
Generic Global name2 including the word mistress: yar, I'm a seerius altiholic.

by Scott Trowbridge October 2, 2008

plummering

When a guy's butt crack is visible when he bends over. Related to the term plummer's crack. Apparently many plummers butt cracks have been visible while working in client's homes.

Man1: Dude, cover that up!
Man2: what?
Man1: your ass crack, you're plummering something fierce.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

smurfed

Means fucked. Etymologically derived from the fact that the word fuck is used as all parts of speech. For example, "I'm going to fucking fuck your fuck-nut face up you fuckity fuck-wad." Similarly, Smurfs would use Smurf with the same versatility. For example, "Gargamel, I'm going to smurfing smurf your smurfing smurf-nosed face, and then smurf your cat Azriel."

Person1: So you really like this guy?
Person2: Yeah, he's not insane, smart, has a job, and he smurfed me like a school-girl.

by scott trowbridge July 8, 2006

ivoryonics

n. a dialect of English spoken by rural southern caucasians. Actually quite closely related to Ebonics.

Ivoryonics.
Server: Y'awnt sum vittles? Hah'bout sumpin ta wet-cher-wissle?
Patron: Ah rekkin all git uh coldbeer and some tots, y'a dont mind.

Translation to English.
Server: Do you want something to eat? What about something to drink?
Patron: I suppose I will have a beer and some hash-browns, if that is alright.

by scott trowbridge July 8, 2006