scott trowbridge's definitions

joe schmo

A regular person. Often but not necessarily with a slightly negative connotation. Etymologically related to "Average Joe" and "Schmo" a Yiddish word for idiot.

I'm scared as hell of becoming some Joe Schmo, watching football, drinking beer that my fat wife brings me, and blaming my farts on my dog.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

pro wrestler-esque

adj. reminiscent of pro wrestlers. Can describe a variety of attributes such as voice, hair, body type, mullet, or apparel.

Person1: dude, check out this awesome new haircut; business in front party in back!!
person2: Bad Ass dude, that mullet is pro wrestler-esque.

by scott trowbridge July 9, 2006

loluminati

The loluminati (etym. plural of Latin loluminatus, "Laugh-out-loud-enlightened") is an elite group of powerful comedians that seek to control the world’s supply of humor. They originally formed as a splinter group from the Bavarian “Illuminati”, an Enlightenment-era secret society founded in 1776, which was dedicated to the systematic and stealthy conquest of nations, one by one, and ultimately the entire world. The loluminati parted ways with the illuminati over the issue of the best way to ensure a harmonious enlightened society; with the later advocating political power and the former humor, absurdity, and basic silliness.

The loluminati have been particularly successful in orchestrating free speech activities throughout history, mainly aimed at ensuring that their hordes of caricaturists and other political comedians could thrive. While most loluminati activities have been generally regarded as positive by most of society, the group remains elite and secretive and occasionally supports what some describe as unseemly or even dark humor; some examples being - boy-bands, the election of George W. Bush, and soap operas.

-Man, how did that guy get famous?
-I don't know. I suspect the loluminati.

by Scott Trowbridge September 29, 2008

marital device

a conservative euphemism for sex toys.

Republican Husband: Honey could we have intercourse please?
Republican Wife: Well dear . . . I'm not aroused, but if we got out the marital device I could be.

by Scott trowbridge July 6, 2006

ivoryonics

n. a dialect of English spoken by rural southern caucasians. Actually quite closely related to Ebonics.

Ivoryonics.
Server: Y'awnt sum vittles? Hah'bout sumpin ta wet-cher-wissle?
Patron: Ah rekkin all git uh coldbeer and some tots, y'a dont mind.

Translation to English.
Server: Do you want something to eat? What about something to drink?
Patron: I suppose I will have a beer and some hash-browns, if that is alright.

by scott trowbridge July 8, 2006

shuffleboard

Once upon a time white people played a game called shuffle board at racially segregated country clubs. When most country clubs became desegregated, the white people stopped playing the game because it was too embarrassing for anyone outside their imagined aristocracy to know about.

Hubert: Mildred would you like to play some shuffleboard.
Mildred: That would be swell Hubert.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

forensic anthropomophologist

Broadly, a person who gathers evidence about how an inanimate object that resembles a human died. Generally, one who investigates how a doll or stuffed animal was murdered.

news reporter: Sources today reported that Billy's teddy bear was found decapitated in his bedroom. The authorities have sent a forensic anthropomophologist to look for clues.

by scott trowbridge September 6, 2008