scott trowbridge's definitions

joe schmo

A regular person. Often but not necessarily with a slightly negative connotation. Etymologically related to "Average Joe" and "Schmo" a Yiddish word for idiot.

I'm scared as hell of becoming some Joe Schmo, watching football, drinking beer that my fat wife brings me, and blaming my farts on my dog.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

forensic anthropomophologist

Broadly, a person who gathers evidence about how an inanimate object that resembles a human died. Generally, one who investigates how a doll or stuffed animal was murdered.

news reporter: Sources today reported that Billy's teddy bear was found decapitated in his bedroom. The authorities have sent a forensic anthropomophologist to look for clues.

by scott trowbridge September 6, 2008

shuffleboard

Once upon a time white people played a game called shuffle board at racially segregated country clubs. When most country clubs became desegregated, the white people stopped playing the game because it was too embarrassing for anyone outside their imagined aristocracy to know about.

Hubert: Mildred would you like to play some shuffleboard.
Mildred: That would be swell Hubert.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

marital aid

a conservative euphemism for sex toys, see also marital device.

Republican Husband: Honey could we have intercourse please?
Republican Wife: Well dear . . . I'm not aroused, but if we got out the marital aid I could be.

by scott trowbridge July 8, 2006

Squid

To move across the ground with one's back to the ground, hands behind you, and legs in front.

Ex 1.
Treasure hunter1: so here's the tree, what does the map say now?
Treasure hunter2: okay, squid 20 paces northwest.

Ex. 2.
Glenda: why are you squidding around the house like that? You are so weird.
Scott: I dont know, got bored of walking.

by Scott Trowbridge July 8, 2006

plummering

When a guy's butt crack is visible when he bends over. Related to the term plummer's crack. Apparently many plummers butt cracks have been visible while working in client's homes.

Man1: Dude, cover that up!
Man2: what?
Man1: your ass crack, you're plummering something fierce.

by scott trowbridge June 11, 2006

smurfed

Means fucked. Etymologically derived from the fact that the word fuck is used as all parts of speech. For example, "I'm going to fucking fuck your fuck-nut face up you fuckity fuck-wad." Similarly, Smurfs would use Smurf with the same versatility. For example, "Gargamel, I'm going to smurfing smurf your smurfing smurf-nosed face, and then smurf your cat Azriel."

Person1: So you really like this guy?
Person2: Yeah, he's not insane, smart, has a job, and he smurfed me like a school-girl.

by scott trowbridge July 8, 2006