rhythmjunky's definitions

Speed rodding

A quickie; sex, when time is a factor.

First man: "Hey, how did it go with that girl last night, is she a stayer?"

Second man: "Naaaah... only managed to squeeze in some brief speed rodding and then she got away."

Presenter: "...and your specialist subject?"

Contenstant: "Speed rodding."

by RhythmJunky May 24, 2010

Eye Shandy

A phrase applied when referring to an attractive member of the opposite (or same) sex whose appearance would provide sufficient arousal for masturbatory activities at a later date. Derives from a combination of the phrases 'Eye Candy' and 'Hand Shandy'.

'Woah, check out the eye shandy over there, gotta remember that one for later!'

'Sweet, I need to get a pic of that eye shandy for some hand-to-gland ferocity tonight!'

by RhythmJunky March 4, 2009

Quantitative cheesing

The consumption of large amounts of dairy product.

Patient: "I'm massively lactose intolerant; what can I do?"
Doctor: "I recommend a course of quantitative cheesing."
Patient: "But... isn't that going to make things worse?"
Doctor: "Yep!"

by RhythmJunky August 16, 2010

Thrown kebab

A lady's bits that are extremely loose and resemble a doner kebab that has been thrown across quite some distance. The most extreme kebab reference - Kebab being normal, Dropped Kebab next and then Thrown Kebab.

"Turns out that ropey girl I pulled last night had a thrown kebab, so I had to bail!"

by RhythmJunky October 20, 2008

Shitlock

Constipation.

"Why are you walking like you shat yourself?"

"Man, I wish. I think I've got terminal shitlock here."

by RhythmJunky November 23, 2009

Ground Zero

The close proximity around a person who has just expelled exceedingly unpleasant gases from their anal passage. Also the site of splashdown while offloading previous meals into the toilet.

"I'd give it five minutes mate, it's Ground Zero in there."

"Oh god, sorry mate, it's Ground Zero in my pants" (wafts in colleagues' face)

by RhythmJunky April 4, 2009

Brownian Motion

The random growling noises caused by the gut that warn the growlee a bathroom visit is imminent.

Colleague: "Jesus, that sounded like a tank driving past."

Growlee: "Actually that's just some Brownian Motion going down. I'm a ticking time bomb."

by RhythmJunky May 11, 2009